Page 70 of Instigator

It’s hard to concentrate on film review. Coach McKittrick walks us through the lethal Atlanta defense, then shows us their elite power forwards. It’s easy to be intimidated by how intense the powerhouse team is. There’s a reason they’re ranked at the top of the leaderboard this season.

And they’re coming for us.

The room swells with noise, the intensity ratcheting up ten thousand decibels. My eardrums throb, and my hands shake, and I swallow, but I can’t quite get my throat to work. Out comes a weird snort-sputter sound, drawing attention to me. Heat rises to my face, and I hunch lower in my seat. Maybe if I pretend I’m invisible, they won’t be able to see me.

“You good, man?” Ryan mutters beside me.

“’M fine,” I reply.

At the front of the room, McKittrick has his laser pointer aimed at the screen, but the red light burns my eyes so much I wouldn’t be surprised if there was steam rising in the back of my eyelids. Even blinking a few times doesn’t clear it. I can hear the buzz of the laser and smell the sound of my teammates talking and taste the musty, musky scent of sweat that permeates every square inch of this practice facility.

Overstimulated.

My eyelids flutter shut, just for a moment, and I try to recalibrate, but my system doesn’t want to reset. I rub my clammy palms on my tech-dry shorts, and the static-ridden fabric shocks me. Hissing between my teeth, I shake out my hand.

I need to get out of here.

Making eye contact with Coach, I jerk my thumb toward the exit, and even though he frowns, he nods. I jump out of my seat and stride to the exit. Let them think it’s a bathroom emergency. Let them think—I don’t care what they think. I’m crawling out of my skin. Nothing else matters in this moment.

The hallway is three paces wide and ten long. I trace the path back and forth, back and forth, but even that isn’t enough to settle me.

Water. That will help.

The lounge isn’t far, and I count my strides as I navigate through the hallways. Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one… I open the door to the team lounge and stop short.

Ceci.

She’s here.

My brown-haired beauty sits at a table with Dr. Whitney, Vanessa, our logistics coordinator, and Amelia, our PT. As I stand in the doorway, watching like a creep, she throws her head back and laughs, her chocolatey waves rippling down her back.

The other three women are giggling too. She has friends. Good. She should have friends. I like that she’s connected to my colleagues—that she has a reason to spend time here aside from her position on the board.

“Hi, Aidan,” Vanessa calls, half rising out of her seat. “Can we help you with something?”

I shake my head, the words getting lost in my throat. Silently, I walk past their table to the fridge, pulling out a blue-raspberry electrolyte drink, cracking the top, and guzzling down half the bottle in one gulp.

My nerves are still frayed, but my hands have stopped shaking, and I finally don’t feel like I’m about to crawl out of my skin.

I blow out a breath. From this angle, I have a clear view of Ceci, and her eyes are on her harvest bowl. No matter how much I stare at her, silently begging her to look up, she avoids my gaze.

Vanessa says my name again. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

I’m always fine.

When I walk past the table, the scent of her perfume short-circuits my brain, and I take a gasping breath as I pass, committing it to memory.

It takes another few turns pacing the halls, but I finally feel steady enough to return to film review. A few guys turn to look at me as I enter the room, but I ignore them as I retake my seat and focus my attention on the projector.

Half an hour later, we’re set free. Some guys grab lunch, others head for treatment, but I’m scheduled for a helmet fitting with Dr. Whitney, so I head to the lab and knock on the open door.

“Come in,” the redhead calls. “I’m almost done.”

She’s at her desk, typing on her computer. Across the room, Ceci’s computer is plugged in, but she’s nowhere to be found.

It takes Dr. Whitney a few minutes to finish what she’s working on, and then she moves her monitor to the side and looks at me.