Page 67 of Instigator

He rolls onto his side, seeking out my hand. When I allow him to take it, he laces our fingers together. “I don’t know that I can do this. I haven’t done… this. Not in a long time.”

My eyebrow arches toward my hairline. “What do you mean?”

“I haven’t been able to—” He pokes his cheek with his tongue. “Since I found out about my ex.”

“Aidan…”

“No. It has nothing to do with you. It really doesn’t. It’s not you, it’s me,” he repeats.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He sighs. “Because naming it makes it real. And I was really hoping it wouldn’t happen again.”

“Have you seen anyone about it?”

“It’s not physiological, it’s entirely mental.”

“Okay. Have you talked to anyone?”

He falls silent, which is answer enough.

“I’ve never been interested enough in someone to put in the work,” he finally says, his voice quiet in the still room. “I… I think it’s time.”

“Don’t do this for me,” I blurt out. “Do this for yourself.”

“I am. I will.” His eyes seek out mine, holding contact. “I want to be healthy enough for this to work. To be healed enough for us to try. Just… be patient with me. Please.”

“Always.” I lean forward and kiss him, his soft sigh soothing me more.

“And, um…” His Adam’s apple bobs with how hard he swallows. “I can still get you off in other ways. We’ve proven I can bring you there with my mouth. And I, uh… I could use toys.”

My eyes light up. “Oh really?”

He separates from me, and I mourn the loss. But he’s not going far. He rolls over and pulls out his nightstand drawer, coming back with a small vibrator.

I want to know what else is in there.

“What do you need to get off?” I ask him.

“This isn’t about me,” he replies.

“Except that it is. I want to make you feel good.” Unable to help myself, I trace my fingers over his abs, and his soft cock twitches. “Do you want my hand? My mouth? Or is it any touch that will make it happen?”

“I don’t know,” Aidan admits. “I haven’t tried to experiment much.”

“Do you have a favorite toy?”

He tenses.

“Hey, I’m not judging,” I’m quick to add. “Whatever it takes to get you there. All I want is to make you feel good.”

“You’re really okay with this?”

I set my hand on his chest, brushing my lips against his again. “Yeah, I am. There’s nothing to not be okay with.”

“I might not be able to…”

“Then you’ll get me off in other ways. Like you said, you’ve already proven that you can.” I kiss him again. “So let me take care of you. What do you need?”