Page 37 of Instigator

I’m her only brother, and since our parents died when I was in college, the summer before she was supposed to go away, I’m her only family.

I skipped rookie development camp to help her figure everything out, and I thought I’d lose my spot on the team, but San Diego felt sorry for me, or maybe I’d sufficiently impressed them during my Frozen Four play at the end of the prior season, because they called me up to training camp. I was as surprised as anyone else when I made the starting roster, and after Hailey finished packing up the house, she moved to where I was. From San Diego to Boston, she’s lived with me ever since.

Until she moved in with her fiancé, that is. Although I wasn’t happy with the way she and Ryan got together—or more specifically, the way I found out—I can’t deny they’re happy together.

And at the end of the day, that’s all I want for her. For all of us.

Why can’t I be happy too?

Annie knows me. Ceci. Ceci knows me.

Well, she knows Wish. She doesn’t know Aidan. Would she be interested in someone like me? I don’t have to worry about her selling my story—she has as much to risk as I do if word got out.

“Ceci says you dropped by the lab yesterday but were super weird. What happened?”

“It was fine,” I lie.

Hailey rolls her eyes. “Try the other one.”

What, does she want me to tell her I got turned on by the mere sight of her friend? That I lack so much control over my libido that I’m lusting after a woman who would never look at me twice?

Because outside of that one encounter at the gala, Ceci has never been interested in me. Of all the women my sister has set me up with, it’s never been her.

And now… I wish it was. If only we’d met before now, we could have had something real all this time. A chance setup at a gala is not the same as an actual conversation. I didn’t get to know her. I never even gave her the chance.

Not that our relationship isn’t already real. But it’s not the same.

“I’ve got a lot on my mind,” I finally say.

Outside of the whole Annie/Ceci thing, I’m worried about Sinclair’s meltdown, I’m worried about Jenkins’s partying, I’m worried about Reynolds’s OCD compulsions flaring up, and I’m worried about the team’s stats and our recent tumble in the standings. I’m worried about everything. It keeps me up at night, only one more reason I’m up for gaming well into the dark. It distracts me enough that when I finally pass out in the wee hours of the morning, I can’t hyperfixate on everything swirling through my head.

“You can talk to us,” Ryan chimes in.

This is the third time in as many weeks that he’s encouraged me to open up. For a while after they first started dating, I did shut him out. I was hurting, and I lashed out, and even though we quickly put it behind us, there’s a little more distance between us now than there was before he stared dating my little sister behind my back.

Seeing them now, happily engaged, I can’t deny there’s still some lingering resentment. It was supposed to be me and Hailey, together against the world. Since the day our parents died, we’ve been all the other has. I’ve looked out for her, taken care of her.

And now she doesn’t need me anymore. Is it a crime that I want to be needed?

“I did something shitty, and I don’t know how to make up for it.”

Hailey stares at me. “You? What did you do?”

“It wasn’t kind.”

She rolls her eyes. “Aidan, you are the dumbest idiot to ever live. What did you actually do?”

“I didn’t show up when I said I would. I let them down.”

“The team will forgive you,” Ryan says. “We know you’re busy.”

“It, uh, wasn’t someone on the team.” Heat rises in my cheeks, and I know my face is flaming as red as my hair. “Someone else.”

“They’ll understand,” she says. “Did you have a good reason?”

“Not really.” I look away, shamefaced. “I ghosted.”

“Oh, Aidan.” My sister clucks her tongue. “You sweet, lovable fool. Just tell him you’re sorry and move on.”