Page 35 of Instigator

The resentment eats at me, a poison leaching into all of my other interactions with the people I care about most. I’m lost in my thoughts, chugging my drink like it’s my job. Nobody has asked me how I am or why I’m subdued tonight. I don’t have the energy to be bubbly. I just can’t.

Hailey nudges me as chatter swirls around us, ten different side conversations going on all at once.

“You okay? You seem a little down today.”

“I’m fine.” I muster a smile, but I can’t fool her. Letting out a sigh, I scoot my chair closer to her wheelchair. “It’s been a tough couple of days.”

My friend frowns. “I’m sorry, honey. Do you want to talk about it?”

No. I want to bottle it up.

But as I take a swig of my mostly gin, very little tonic, I know that’s not healthy. I joke about unhealthy coping mechanisms, but the truth is, I’ve done enough of the work to know what is and isn’t a good idea.

“Someone disappointed me, and I don’t know how to reconcile the person I thought I knew with the person they turned out to be.”

“That’s incredibly tough.” She clucks sympathetically. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

“Thanks, Maya Angelou.” I wink at her. “That’s the problem. I have to believe them. And I don’t want to. I’ve built them up so much in my head, and if they turn out not to be the person I know…”

She lets out a heavy sigh. “Yeah. It’s hard to wrap your head around.”

“I guess it goes to show that no matter how well you think you know someone, they’ll still surprise you.”

Hailey cocks her head. “But isn’t the reverse true too? They can still pleasantly surprise you just as much as it can be a bad one. There’s still capacity for good.”

I blow out a breath. “If you say so.”

“Maybe this was just a blip. Maybe there were extenuating circumstances.”

Is a panic attack an extenuating circumstance? I want to be sympathetic, I do. They can come out of nowhere, and they’re not easy to navigate on your own, especially if you’re not used to them.

But it’s the combination of the ghosting and the avoidance that are pissing me off. If Wish didn’t want to be there, he could have told me. I wouldn’t have been mad. Annoyed, maybe. But I’d have understood.

What I can’t understand is why he didn’t respect me enough to tell me he was having doubts. That he wasn’t ready. I never would have pushed him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with. I’d have given him the out.

Yet he couldn’t give me the same courtesy. And that fucking stings.

sixteen

. . .

Aidan

Annie is Cecilia Ramos.

What the actual fuck?

My best friend is the beautiful woman who haunts my dreams.

She’s a gorgeous, brilliant tech billionaire.

And fuck, I have to work with her.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Never did I think Annie and I would know each other in real life. But the second I heard her voice online, I knew.

And it turns out, I’m 100 percent attracted to her. Her voice has always been alluring, a hint of sultriness in her tone even when she’s complaining about a bad day. Maybe it’s just the pitch of her voice. But it definitely gets my engine going.