Page 118 of Instigator

“If that doesn’t work, we can go to Italy. Or Spain.” His arms tighten around me. “I just want to go somewhere with you. Explore. I want us to build a future beyond what’s happening right this minute.”

“So this summer…”

“And next fall.” He brushes his nose against my cheek. “New Year’s. Next season’s All Star break.”

My heart thumps in my chest. He wants to build a future with me. He sees me in his life for months to come. Maybe even years.

“Greece sounds wonderful,” I tell him. “I’ll make arrangements.”

But Aidan shakes his head. “I’ll handle it. All you have to do is show up with your passport and a suitcase. Maybe a bikini. Leave the rest to me.”

A weight lifts off my shoulders. He’s a partner, a true partner. The burden isn’t mine alone anymore. He’s right there beside me, doing his part.

“I’ll be there,” I promise.

He kisses me, soft and slow. “I’m looking forward to it.”

forty-four

. . .

Aidan

The All Star break is my one week to rest and recharge. After my daily workout, I stay at home and sit on the couch while Ceci’s working, but my regular video games don’t hold the same appeal during daylight as they do late at night.

In theory, I could go downstairs and bother Hailey and Ryan, but his parents are still in town, and I don’t want to impose. We get so little time with our friends and family during the season, so we need to soak up all the chances we get when we can.

It’s different for me and Hailey. She’s at all the home games, she lives two floors down, and she still likes to barge into my house for breakfast. But his parents live so far away, they don’t get enough time together.

I don’t know what to do with all this free time. The one person I want to spend it with is busy. She has a job to show up at and professional duties. I don’t want her to bail on her responsibilities. But I feel like a child, wanting attention and affection.

This is hard. Being in a relationship, taking other people’s needs and wants into account, is fucking hard.

I want to spend all my time with her, to curl up in bed next to her and breathe her in. Even if we don’t game, we can talk or simply exist. It’s good that she has a life outside of me. I don’t want to be the center of her world—she needs outside hobbies and friends.

Except I’m very consciously aware that, outside of hockey, my teammates, and my sister, I have no friends. No hobbies aside from gaming solitarily in my apartment.

Sure, I connected with Ceci online, but it’s different when my best friend is now my partner. I don’t have any other friends.

So how the fuck do I make some?

There are a handful of guys in the league who I talk to when we hit their cities, but we don’t chat much during the rest of the season. When I was in San Diego, Baxter and I hung out as much as Ryan and I do now.

That all fell away when he was traded. Now I look back and wonder why we lost touch.

Did I not try hard enough? Did he want a clean break? Getting traded always stirs up a lot of emotions. It wouldn’t surprise me if he simply didn’t want to deal with any of that.

There’s nothing to stop me from reaching out now, though. Especially with his little sister moving to Boston soon.

Aidan: Hey, man. How’s it going?

Baxter: Ivy is killing me.

I laugh out loud. She’s the bane of his existence, and he loves her to pieces.

Aidan: What now?

Baxter: She wants to turn down Harvard to go backpacking through Europe with the dickbag boyfriend.