Page 110 of Instigator

My sister swallows hard, then nods. “Thank you, Ceci.”

“It’s my pleasure. Finally, I can use my money for good instead of evil.” She winks.

Hailey opens her mouth to object, and I cut her off. I can barely get her to accept gifts from me, much less anyone else.

“If you don’t want Ceci to pay for it, I will. But either way, we want to do this for you. Whoever hands over the money is irrelevant. This is coming from us, and we want to celebrate you two.”

She sags against her seat. “Thank you. Both of you.”

“You know I’d do anything for you, Hay.”

“I know,” she whispers. “I appreciate it. More than I can ever say.”

“Hey. Just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean you’re getting rid of me,” I tease. “It only means our family is getting bigger.”

Hailey gives me a tremulous smile. “Any other life-altering announcements?”

“Not right now,” Ceci says with a grin. “I think we’ve had enough for tonight, don’t you?”

forty-one

. . .

Ceci

After Hailey and Ryan leave, Aidan tugs me into the bedroom. Wordlessly, he pulls me into his arms, and I tuck my head against his chest, listening to the steady thump, thump, thump of his heart. I allow him to take comfort from me, to hold me and center himself.

I can’t be his self-soothing toy. I won’t be the one to “fix” or “cure” his problems. All I can do is assist him in finding self-regulation techniques that allow him to ground himself without relying on another person.

Because eventually, that person won’t be available. They’ll leave or move on or be busy with their own lives. I don’t exist to regulate him. I have my own issues regulating myself.

For now, though, I can give him this. For now, I can be what he needs.

“How are you doing?” I ask into his chest.

Aidan sighs, the sound vibrating against my cheek. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Is it the wedding, or is it telling her?”

“Yes,” he says.

I chuckle. “That didn’t actually clarify anything.”

His arms tighten around me, tension coiling each of his muscles. “She doesn’t need me anymore,” he whispers.

The pain in his voice is audible, and it takes a second for everything to click into place. Aidan wants to be needed. He’s so used to being the stable, reliable one, the person everyone goes to with their problems, he’s never known a life where he doesn’t need to support everyone else. He thinks he’s a strong, sturdy oak tree, but he’s one wind gust away from toppling over.

When his parents died, he moved Hailey in with him, watching over her, maintaining her medical care. Being captain was a natural extension of the emotional load he managed with the team. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders.

But when does he allow himself to need someone? Why doesn’t he allow himself to depend on anyone?

“She might not need you, but she still wants you,” I tell him quietly. I pull my head back to meet his gaze. His blue eyes are stormy, with conflicting emotions warring within him. “She’s only two floors away. She’s not going anywhere. And even if she leaves the building, if they’re in a new city, she’s not going anywhere. She’ll always be your sister. You’ll always be family.”

His gulp echoes in the still room. “It feels like she’s slipping away.”

“She’s right here.” I pat his chest. “She loves you. That isn’t going to change. She needs to stand on her own two feet, to build a life with Ryan. He’s her future.”

“And I’m her past,” he says bitterly.