Page 30 of Game Misconduct

twelve

. . .

Nick

After a grueling training camp, we start preseason and immediately launch into the eighty-two-game campaign. Save for my linemate announcing he has a surprise baby—and a wife—it’s remarkably drama-free. The guys aren’t fighting over the same puck bunny, nobody is cheating on their wife, and we all seem to get along. Even when the team loses, nobody tosses out pointed barbs at each other; we all shoulder the blame.

It’s night and day from my previous experiences. Everything is so chill. Except…

I can’t decide whether I’m disappointed or appreciative of Bex traveling with the team, and it’s ratcheting up my tension with every flight and every road trip. It makes sense; she’s there to evaluate us if we have head trauma, and she can’t do that if she’s back in Boston while we’re on the road. Not that any of us wants a head injury.

On one hand, it means I get to stay close to her. Watch from afar as she sits with Vanessa, Amelia, and Andrews on the plane, keep an eye out when she’s in the hotel bar by herself after a long day. I don’t approach her—I like my dick attached to my body, thank you—but my attention never strays far from her.

Which means I can’t get away from her. She’s constantly on my mind. Like a thorn embedded deep in my flesh. It would take a scalpel to extract her from my brain, and I’m not ready for that level of pain yet.

There have been a handful of women in the last three years, but none who have dug their claws into me like her. None who drive me absolutely insane with the memories constantly looping through my brain.

“Hey, man,” Gonzo says as he walks up to me in the bar. “A few of us are grabbing dinner. Want to join?”

My eyes flick to Bex, drinking a few seats down with her tablet. She has a glass of wine and an appetizer in front of her, picking at the cheese plate while she reads.

He tracks my movement, and his lips curl into a teasing smirk. He opens his mouth, no doubt to say something snarky, but I cut him off.

“I can do dinner.” There’s no other option. I need to stop torturing myself and start bonding with my teammates. They could be my last hope of finally finding where I belong. After New Orleans pulled the rug out from under me, I’ve been too gun shy to try again. What if they decide at the trade deadline that I’m not worth keeping around? What if they drop all contact and pretend I don’t exist once I leave this team?

No. I can’t think that way. If I don’t put myself out there, try to forge those off-ice relationships, I really will die alone. I don’t even have a cat to eat my face when I’m gone. I’ll just be… gone.

“Awesome.” He grins, clapping me on the shoulder. “It’s right around the corner.”

Hopping off my barstool, I shrug on my jacket and follow him out of the hotel. Sure enough, it’s half a block to the steakhouse, and I tense when I see Seb Henry, our goaltender, waiting with MacGregor and Logan.

I’ve mostly been able to avoid him. I don’t know if he realizes I’ve been chilly with him or if he assumes I’m like that with everyone.

Nope. Just the brother of my dream girl’s boyfriend.

Henry gives me a warm smile as I take my seat across from him. “I have a bone to pick with you,” he says, his tone contradicting his easygoing expression.

“Oh?” I force myself to appear confident, like I’m not about to get pummeled in the face. I can’t be a dick to my teammate, no matter who his sibling is sleeping with.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re a reader?” Henry demands.

I blink a few times. “What?”

“I’ve seen you haul out a book on the last three flights,” he continues. “What do you read, and why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m confused.” What business is it of his if I like to read? Is he going to punch me out and call me a nerd? We’re not in middle school anymore. I shouldn’t have to hide bits and pieces of myself to fit in.

“We have a book club,” Gonzo explains. “Henry’s the leader. His wife’s a librarian, so he always has a new suggestion for us.”

Okay, that makes more sense than what I assumed. “I like psychological thrillers, but I’ve been known to pick up some murder mysteries from time to time.”

“Awesome. I’m more of an epic fantasy guy myself. We need some variety on the shelf,” Henry beams.

“It’s totally optional if you want to join,” MacGregor stresses. “I know you tend to keep to yourself. Although you don’t constantly have to be on guard around us.”

Some of the tension eases out of my shoulders, and I unclench my jaw. I’ve been holding the guys at arm’s length all this time, but I hadn’t realized they’d noticed.

“A book club sounds fun.” And hey, if it helps me bond with my teammates off the ice, it will make our on-ice connection that much stronger. “Count me in.”