Page 95 of Body Check

My brother laughs. “Meels, you’ve been together since November. Five and a half months isn’t barely. It’s plenty of time to get to know each other.”

I purse my lips. “Yeah, but⁠—”

“You have a yeah, but for everything,” he says. “Every suggestion I make, you shut down. So, dig deep and ask yourself, why are you so against it? Why won’t you let yourself be happy?”

I open my mouth, and then close it.

“I’m scared he’ll leave,” I finally say. “What if he regrets this decision? What if three years down the line, he decides he does want to have kids, and then he blames me?”

“Then, you guys can use a sperm donor, or go the adoption or foster route,” Tyler says. “Just consider, though… if he wasn’t sure about this, he wouldn’t make the decision. What would you say if someone asked you the same things? If they expected you to change your mind?”

With a sigh, I admit, “I’d tear them a new one.”

“So, maybe trust that he’s thought it all through, and he’s as sure about it as you are.” He reaches over and squeezes my arm. “It’ll all work out. Even if you decide he’s not the guy for you, this decision is not on you. It’s entirely on him.”

“He has a lot of big decisions coming up.”

“And he’ll make them. He’ll probably talk to you about them,” he says. “Once you stop hiding, that is.”

“I’m not hiding.”

He cuts his eyes to me. “You sure about that?”

“Okay, so maybe I’m hiding a little bit,” I cave, twisting the bill of my cap. “I’m scared.”

“It’s okay, if you’re scared,” Tyler says. “Do it anyway. Live your life. Love your life.”

I freeze. “L-love?”

He pauses. “Oh. Are you not there yet?”

“I—I don’t know.”

“That’s scary, too,” my big brother says softly. “But when you let yourself free-fall, when you accept it and live your truth… it’s the best feeling in the world.”

There’s a lump in my throat, and I swallow a few times, trying to clear it. Do I love Jason? How would I know?

I certainly like him. I’m attracted to him. When he’s around, my heart starts beating faster, and it’s like I have tunnel vision, and he’s the only one I can see. He’s the first person I want to share all my news and gossip with, and he’s the last thought on my mind before falling asleep. He makes my day better just for being in it, even when we’re separated.

And the way he kisses me? It’s like my entire body’s on fire, all the time.

“Oh, fuck,” I whisper.

“And there it is,” Tyler says, with a smirk. “Figured some things out, huh?”

“Fuck off,” I mutter, socking him in the arm. “Don’t act like you’ve got everything figured out. You were a mess when you fell for Brandon.”

“Yeah, and look which one of us is happily married now,” he teases.

Rolling my eyes, I take another sip of my beer. “Yeah, yeah, your life is pretty damn perfect. You belong in a Disney movie.”

“I’m not saying it’s perfect. Brando and I still fight. We have bad days.” He shrugs, rubbing his hand over his daughter’s back. “But there are more good days than bad. When I go to sleep, he’s the person I want to see before I close my eyes, and when I wake up, I always reach for him. He makes my life better for being in it.”

He squeezes my arm. “And that’s all I want for you. For you to find the kind of happiness that Brando and I have.”

“I think I did,” I say slowly.

“You’ll figure it out,” my brother says. “I have faith in you.”

“I just have to get out of my own way, first.”