Page 94 of Body Check

thirty-four

. . .

Amelia

Jason wants a vasectomy. I don’t know how to feel about it.

On the one hand, I don’t want kids, but can’t take any permanent birth control measures if I want to carry another kid for Tyler and Brandon. Jason having this procedure helps minimize risk for both of us, especially with the intense hormones they’ll put me on pre-implantation.

At the same time, we’ve only been together for a few months. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a new relationship. Why should my decision not to have kids mean he takes a permanent measure?

But he doesn’t want kids. If he did, he wouldn’t do it. He’s putting his own needs first—and it just happens to benefit me. Us.

“Are we going to talk about it?” Tyler asks.

We’re at a baseball game, cheering on Brandon and his teammates from the family suite. Ainsley is asleep, tuckered out from the excitement of the first inning. Now, it’s the bottom of the fourth, and although the score is 1-1, the Bulldogs are playing some excellent baseball.

“Talk about what?” I ask.

“Why you haven’t gone to Jason’s lately.”

I sigh. “He’s busy.”

“Too busy for you?” His eyebrows arch up.

“The team comes first, and I’m tired of hiding in his bedroom for hours when they come over to cheer him up.” I’m trying not to be bitter about it. It’s part of the deal. “I’m just tired of hiding it. The sneaking around thing gets old.”

“So, are things fizzling out? Or is he not prioritizing you?”

I shake my head. “It’s me. I took a step back.”

Tyler shifts in his seat. “So, if you were at his place, and the guys came over… what would happen?”

“Well, I’d like to hang out with them. All of them.” I play with my Bulldogs ball cap. “I don’t want to be his dirty little secret.”

“So don’t. Go public.”

“My job…”

“There are protocols in place. Go down to HR and sign the form,” Tyler says.

“It’s not that easy.”

“Isn’t it?” He glances at me from the corner of his eyes, and then flicks his attention back to the field, where Minnesota is up to bat. “Why are you so skittish? Do you think he’s not as invested as you are?”

Reaching for my beer, I gulp down about half the extra-large cup. “He wants a vasectomy,” I blurt out.

Tyler arches an eyebrow. “And that’s a bad thing?”

“He asked me if I wanted kids first.”

“But you don’t.” He runs his hand over Ainsley’s back, snuggled against his chest in her carrier. “You’ve never wanted kids.”

“Yeah, but he asked me before making that decision, even though he doesn’t want them.”

“So, healthy communication is a bad thing?”

“It is when we’ve barely been dating.”