Page 10 of Body Check

five

. . .

Amelia

Jason McKittrick is my neighbor. The captain of the team I work for saw me naked, watched me get myself off, touched himself while I put on a show for him.

Fuck. What a way to start a new job.

When I get home from the bar, Tyler and Brandon are eating dinner. I’d texted them not to wait for me, and Robby and I ended up getting some appetizers, but watching them dive into a Katsu curry makes my stomach growl. The air is fragrant with the familiar perfume of spices. It reminds me of home, of the two years we were stationed in Okinawa when I was in elementary school.

“We saved you a plate,” Brandon says, kicking out a chair.

“You didn’t have to do that,” I mutter as I drop my lunchbox off on the kitchen counter and fall into the empty chair.

“Wanted to,” my brother-in-law says. “How was work?”

“Fine.”

“Robby didn’t give you any issues?” Tyler asks.

“Nah, he took me out for a drink after. It’s nice to have a friendly face around.” Spooning the curry on my plate, I meet my brother-in-law’s eyes. “It isn’t weird for you? Me talking about him?”

Brandon shakes his head. “I know Ty has a past. I also know he’s committed to me and our family. Would it be strange if Rob suddenly hung around? Maybe. But I would never ask you to give up on a friendship, especially now.”

Now that I have nobody.

“Thanks, Brando.”

His lips tip up and he pushes the bowl of rice toward me. “You look hungry.”

In other words, he’s done talking about this.

The baby squawks, and I set down my fork before crossing the room to the bassinet.

“Are you feeling left out, baby girl?” I coo as I lift my niece into my arms. She squirms in my hold, her mouth puckering.

“I’ll grab a bottle,” Tyler says, standing from the table.

When my brother and his husband announced they were thinking about adopting, I asked if they considered surrogacy. They had. But the waiting lists, and finding a donor egg… It was all too much, especially with Brando was about to leave for spring training.

For reasons I still don’t fully understand, I volunteered. I donated my eggs to them, fertilized in a lab with Brandon’s sperm, and carried my niece, giving birth to her seven weeks ago.

There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my brother. Giving him a baby, something he couldn’t give his husband? Yeah, I volunteered in a heartbeat, and when they’re ready for another kid in a few years, I’ll do it again.

It was a hell of a battle to get a doctor to agree to the surrogacy. Most of the time, they will only allow women who’ve carried their own children to term to do it. But with an extensive psychological evaluation, plus my insistence that I don’t want any kids of my own, we finally found a doctor to to go along with the plan.

Also, I get to stay close to the baby I carried for nine months, the baby I knew as well as my own heartbeat.This is the closest I’ll come to being a mother. Most days, I’m perfectly content with that.

It’s hard to have kids with the career I chose. As long as I work in professional sports, I’ll travel for eight months of the year, if not more. If I go the clinic route, I’d have more stability, but I wouldn’t work the kinds of cases that most interest me. I’m consciously making the decision to put my career first, and I’m genuinely happy with that choice.

It’s all hypothetical, anyway. I’m not anywhere close to settling down. My career is just getting started; I’m not about to hamstring myself this early on.

Even if… Bitterly, I glare at the apartment across from ours. The lights are on in McKittrick’s apartment, but he’s nowhere to be found.

I don’t know what happened to him after he left the bar. In the midst of our conversation, he turned around and left. Just like that.

Taking the bottle from Tyler, I feed my niece, enjoying the simple pleasure of caring for her needs. There isn’t much I can offer her. I don’t know the first thing about being a mother or an aunt. I didn’t have either growing up.