Page 66 of Power Play

“Yeah.”

His big, strong body wrapped around me, his hairy chest pressed to my back, the thick length of his morning erection digging into the curve of my ass…

“I kind of want to do it again? But it’s weird to ask him to sleep together without sleeping together. I don’t want to have sex with him, I don’t think.”

Tyler raises his eyebrows. “Really? Gonzo is hot as fuck.” When I stare at him, he laughs. “I’m married, not blind.”

“He’s gorgeous, but that doesn’t mean I would…”

“Hey, there’s no rushing any of this,” he says. “Ask him for a fully clothed sleepover. He doesn’t seem like the type of dude who will push for more. At least, not without your consent.”

“Consent is key,” Audrey adds. “He wants more with you, but he’s asking you before he changes the name of the game. Maybe he’s clumsy in the way he’s going about it.”

He was definitely a little heavy-handed in everything he was saying… Putting my happiness first, wanting us to be a family.

“I’ve never had a family before,” I mumble. “My sister was my whole world, and then Emmy. I’ve never had a family. Nobody ever wanted me to stick around.”

“Al does,” Vanessa says. “Marriage doesn’t have to mean forever. Yes, most people want it to be, but plenty of people get divorced and move on to happy, healthy lives. You don’t have to commit to the rest of your life. Focus on right now. If you want to stay married, stay married. If you decide you’re not happy, you can end it at any time.”

“Once the threat of social services is no longer hanging over our heads and it won’t rake him over in the press.”

“If you’re really that unhappy, end it now,” Audrey says. “If you know you don’t want to be with him, end it before he gets more attached. You’ll still be Emmy’s mom. He can’t take that away from you.”

“I’m not unhappy. I just don’t know what I want.” Rubbing at my forehead, I try to explain, but my thoughts are so jumbled, I have no hope of them understanding what I hardly understand myself. “How do we date if we’re already married? Do I even want to date my kid’s father? What happens if we try and then break up and it gets awkward?”

“There’s definitely risk involved,” Vanessa says. “You’ll have to decide if that’s a chance you’re willing to take. If he is worth the risk.”

In my heart, I know he is. But that doesn’t mean I can blow up our stable, peaceful life on a crush and a maybe. There’s too much at stake. Emmy’s health and safety are more important than my heart. They have to be.