Page 86 of Tripped Up

She laughs. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”

“I know. I was thinking, though…”

Her eyebrows go up. “Hmm?”

“I’m playing in Boston in December, with an extra day on the ground before. It’s the middle of the week, so you’d have to miss rehearsal. But you don’t have any performances those days. Do you want to come? You could see Bex and everyone…”

Elsy’s eyes widen. “You want me to go?”

“I thought you might like to see your friends. I know there’s rehearsal to consider, but…”

“I’ll make it happen,” she states.

Kissing her, I squeeze her shoulders. “Good. So it’s a date. I’ll see if I can get you on the team plane, otherwise I’ll book tickets for you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she says, puffing up with indignation. “I can⁠—”

“I want to.”

All the fight seeps out of her.

“Elsy, I want to do this for you. Will you let me?”

She swallows, then nods. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” Tightening my arms around her, I drop a kiss on her forehead. “Come, eat. Your breakfast is getting cold.”

“You cooked?” She sounds skeptical, and rightfully so.

“There’s a cute place across the street. I’ll take you next time.”

“You think there will be a next time?” A smile teases her lips as she takes her seat.

“Now that I’ve had you in my bed, you’ll be lucky if I let you go.”

She giggles. “Yeah, good luck with that. I can be pretty slippery.”

A bolt of heat shoots through me, remembering exactly how slick she gets. “Oh, trust me. I’ve got a handle on you.”

Triumphant, she digs into her breakfast. “It’s cute you think that.”

* * *

After breakfast, I drive her home to get ready for her day and then head to the practice facility. It took a few weeks, but now I finally feel like I’m part of the team, like I belong here. This is my team now.

That doesn’t mean my life is suddenly perfect, though. My panic attack has been weighing heavily on my mind. I thought I’d worked through all of my self-doubt when it comes to my family, but it’s clear there’s still a long way to go. The appointment with my therapist the other day only reminded me I still have to do the work; I can’t bury it and pretend it doesn’t exist.

I need to tackle this head-on. Even if I can’t get past this lingering worry. I’ll never be good enough for them; I know I never will be.

But that doesn’t mean other people feel the same way about me. Elsy doesn’t think the way they do; she’s choosing to be part of my life. My sister and I have never been closer. And then my new teammates… they’re my family now.

I don’t want to do this. But I know I probably should.

Pulling out my phone, I exhale to the count of four, and then click on the contact.

The line connects on the third ring.

“Hi, Mom.” Can she hear the way my voice shakes?