Page 37 of Home for the Holidays
“So the last two weeks, our snow days…” Coming home to her every night, spending each evening together, fucking and then sleeping together… it’s been incredibly intimate. I’ve never let someone into my life the way I have with her.
“It’s been great. But it can’t last,” Rachel says. “It’s not real life.”
“It can be whatever we want it to be.” I feel like I’m grasping at straws, desperately trying to hold onto someone determined to slip through my fingers.
She gives a hollow laugh. “Girls like me don’t end up with guys like you.”
“What do you mean?” Giving into the urge, I pull her into my arms. “Girls way out of my league?”
“Jake. You’re a hockey player.”
“So?” Does my being an athlete turn her off?
“So you can get all the women you want. You don’t want a fat, frumpy physicist when you could—”
“I want you,” I tell her firmly. “I could tell you until I’m blue in the face that I like the way you look and the way you dress. I love that you went after what you want until you got your Ph.D. I am so incredibly proud of you for achieving that.”
She swallows.
“I’ve always been interested in you. Why do you think I offered you the room?”
“Because…” She shakes her head. “I don’t know.”
“Like you said, I’m a professional athlete. I don’t need a roommate.”
Rachel looks away.
“I want to share my space with you. I want you to be there. I want you to be part of my life.” I tip her chin up. “I want you. Whatever you can give me. If all we have is a brief moment in time before you move on, I still want it.”
I can find a way to be happy with the scraps she can give. I’d rather have whatever she can offer than nothing at all.
“You’ll get tired of me,” she says. “I’m boring. I don’t—”
“You’re not boring,” I interrupt.
She laughs. “You don’t even know me. Not really.”
“Okay. So tell me what I need to know.”
“I’m a stay-at-home type person. I don’t like to go out to bars and clubs.”
“Cool. Neither do I.”
Rachel laughs again. “You took me to a bar after your game.”
“Because you were a guest, and that’s what we do with guests.” I shrug. “Easton doesn’t go to the bars. MacGregor, almost never. I wanted you to have the VIP hockey experience. No skin off my back if we don’t go again.”
She opens her mouth.
“I want to spend time with you. That doesn’t mean I don’t have other interests or friends,” I tell her. “I spend plenty of time with the guys on the road and at practice. We hang out all the time. When it’s all over? I want to come home to you.”
fifteen
. . .
Rachel
Why am I fighting this? I want to like Jake. I want to let myself fall for him.
