Page 22 of Home for the Holidays

“What are you doing here?” I ask, hiding my smile.

“Our practice facility isn’t far from here. Finished up for the day and wanted to see what you were up to.” He looks over his shoulder into the hallway, then steps forward and closes the door behind him. “I wanted to make sure we were okay.”

“We’re good, Jake.”

He sets one of the coffee cups on my desk. “You’re not weirded out? You’re not regretting moving in with me?”

“No. Not at all.” I look him over. He’s tense, his smile tight. “How about you?”

“Oh, no, I’m great. Totally great,” he lies.

Standing, I move around my desk to the set of chairs in front of it. I take one, and he sits awkwardly in the other. I reach for his hand.

“It’s okay if you’re freaked out,” I tell him. “We can talk this through.”

He fidgets. “I just—I want to know where we stand.”

“I do, too.” Last night, I thought it would just be sex. But it’s clear for him, it’s more than that.

“Listen, what I said⁠—”

My eyebrows go up. “What part?”

Jake flushes beet red.

“Hey. Open and honest communication. That’s what you said, right?” I nudge him. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

He takes a breath. “Okay. So. Here’s the thing.”

Oh. This is the part where he lets me down easy. This is the part where he says he had fun, thanks, but no need to repeat.

I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard in my life. He was relentless, so intensely focused on my pleasure. I’ve never experienced that kind of single-minded attention in bed.

Now that I know what I’ve been missing out on, how am I supposed to go on without it?

“Iwanttogoonadate,” Jake blurts.

I blink.

I blink again.

“I want to go on a date,” he says. “With you.”

My stomach drops. “O…kay.”

His face falls. “You don’t want that.”

My stomach churns. I want to. I do. But I also know it’s not a good idea, not right now.

“It’s not that,” I hurry to say. “I just got out of a long, toxic relationship. I don’t know that I’m ready to date.”

He looks like a kicked puppy.

Because of me. I did that to him.

Jake clears his throat, lifting his chin. “Okay. Cool. Great. I’ll ask one of my teammates to find me someone, then.”

My eyebrows go up. “Find someone?” What’s his hurry?