Page 16 of Home for the Holidays

I want to feel like myself again. I want to feel safe and secure. I want to know who I am and what I need—out of a partner, out of life.

But mainly… I want to get out of my head.

“I want to feel something,” I tell him. “Something that isn’t apathy or regret. I want to feel like myself again.”

He shucks his coat, laying it over his arm before moving to help me out of mine. He hangs them side by side in the front entry closet.

“I can do that,” he says. “I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for you.”

“You’re not.”

“Whatever happens…” He takes a breath. “It has no bearing on your staying here. You can stay as long as you’d like. I meant it—the room is yours, as long as you want it.”

“Thanks.” I start to unbutton my shirt. “Are we doing this?”

Jake tilts his head, watching me. “You’re kind of intense. You know that?”

Heat rises to my cheeks. “I’ve heard that before.”

“I like it,” he says.

Rolling my eyes, I look away. He might say that now, when he’s trying to get laid, but he can’t actually mean it.

He steps closer, one hand on my chin, tilting my face up until my eyes meet his.

“I like it,” he says again. “It’s part of why I had such a big crush on you growing up.”

My eyes widen. “What?”

He lifts a shoulder in a shrug. “I thought you were pretty freaking fantastic back then. I knew it would never happen—age difference aside, you were way out of my league, still are—but I could dream. So now, you standing here in front of me… I like that you’re intense. I like that you’re passionate. I like that you’re you.”

“Jake…”

“I can’t offer you much,” he says. “I know we live very different lives. I get that. But just for now, can’t we pretend? Can’t we just live in the moment?”

Slowly, I nod.

“Thank fuck,” he declares. His hand slides from my chin to the back of my head, threading his fingers through my hair, before his lips descend on mine.

Jake devours me, confident and sure. My lips part on a sigh and he surges between them, his tongue licking into my mouth.

My body sways toward him. He hauls me up against him, his hard muscles pressed against my soft curves sending delicious sensations through me. Tiptoeing my fingers up his solid chest, I reach for his tie, pulling it loose. He lets out a soft groan against my lips.

I start to undo his buttons. I get halfway down his torso before he grunts and breaks the kiss, pulling my hand away.

Taking a step back, I swallow. His taste lingers on my lips.

“Should I not?” My voice comes out breathy.

In response, Jake reaches for me, hauling my size twenty-six body over his shoulder. The world tilts upside down, giving me an excellent view of his ass in those suit pants. I grab one cheek. It’s rock hard.

“Careful, Rach,” he says, his voice hoarse as he walks me through the hallway and down toward his bedroom.

“Or what?” I taunt back.

His hand cups my ass through my jeans, squeezing and kneading the soft flesh there. “Tit for tat, babe.”

“You haven’t even seen my tits yet.”