Page 80 of Sportsball is for Lovers

twenty-six

. . .

Sadie

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,”Jared says. His hand is wrapped around my throat, exerting the barest hint of pressure.

I’m laid bare in front of him, my wild mess of waves splayed on the hotel room pillow, my naked body his to enjoy. My hands are restrained above my head, tied off with silk ropes, and he settles between my thighs.

“I could do this every day for the rest of my life,” he says quietly, his thumb dipping into the hollow of my throat.

Swallowing, I bring my eyes to his. His rich amber eyes are dark and bright, filled with an emotion I can’t identify.

“Every fucking day,” Jared says firmly.

The heavy weight of his promise hangs between us.

“Don’t say that.” Even though I mean to be strong, my voice comes out in a whisper. “Don’t promise things you don’t mean.”

He leans over me, brushing my lips with his in the softest kiss.

“I do, though.”

“But…”

We’re supposed to be keeping things casual. Easy. No strings.

“It’s okay if you’re not ready,” he says. He squeezes my hip in reassurance. “We’ll take it one day at a time.”

Nodding, I try to decide if I’m okay with that.

He’s been by my side all day. He stared down my cunt of a grandmother and dressed down my bitchy sister, stood by me when the non-bitchy ones asked insensitive questions about my life. We managed to expertly avoid my parents, only saying hello when they were in the midst of conversations with other people, so we wouldn’t have to stop and do the whole “introduction to the boyfriend” spiel. He knew exactly how to flatter and disarm my cousins and aunts, how to get my uncles to talk about anything other than baseball, and was great with all of the uptight friends ready to cast aspersions on my character.

He’s been perfect.

And when I think about coming back here, I’m already dreading doing it without him. How could I do this alone?

No, not alone. Even if I had someone by my side, Yoni or Arielle or Rachel or Ceci, it wouldn’t be the same. I don’t know that there’s anyone else on the planet I would rather do this with.

“Maybe…”

He lifts an eyebrow, no judgment on his face.

“Maybe we try it two days at a time,” I offer. “Just two.”

Jared’s smile stretches from ear to ear. “Yeah. Two days sounds great.”

He covers my body with his, his knees digging into the mattress so his heavy bulk isn’t directly on top of me. Usually I like it, especially after he brings me to orgasm more than three times in a row and I’m a boneless, sated pile of goo. When my arms are restrained, though, I need the respite.

His bearded cheek nestles into the curve of my neck, kissing the column of my throat. I tilt my head to give him more access and he nuzzles into me. He’s careful not to leave any marks. A little beard burn is okay, though I like it better between my thighs, but when I have to be around my family…

They don’t know me. They think I’m still the old version of me, quiet and demure. I don’t have the freedom to be myself, loud and opinionated.

In Boston, I don’t care what people think of me. Why does a stranger’s opinion matter? And my friends already love me for who I am—they don’t think less of me for liking sex.

But my parents…

Jared pinches my arm. “Hey. I’m doing my best work here.”