Page 63 of Sportsball is for Lovers

twenty-one

. . .

Sadie

I don’t knowhow I feel about this.

Jared’s only here temporarily. I can feel it in my bones. This is just a stopover until he gets to where he wants to be.

Why can’t it be easy and casual? Why does it have to be all or nothing?I can hear Yoni’s voice in the back of my head. It’s a little disconcerting that the brother of the man I want to fuck is the one in my head, but hey, weirder things have happened, I guess.

“I don’t know how to do this,” I admit out loud.

“Do what?” Jared squints at me from behind his black plastic glasses frames.

“You want to date,” I tell him.

He nods.

“You want to date me.”

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“I don’t… do that.”

“You don’t date?” He sounds skeptical.

I lift a shoulder. “Sex only. No feelings. It’s easier that way.”

“Are you concerned you won’t have feelings for me?”

I open my mouth.

“Or are you concerned that you will?” His eyes are bright as they focus on mine.

I want to wipe that stupid smirk off his lips. With my mouth.

“Fuck, we’re really getting into it,” I mutter, reaching for an egg roll.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” He asks.

I shake my head. “Not you. The subject matter… I don’t like talking about it in general.”

“Ah.”

“It has nothing to do with you. It would be the same with anyone else.”

To my surprise, he gives me a smile. Dryly, he says, “I’m glad.”

I crack a smile, too. “I like being independent. I’m on my own a lot, or I’m writing and off in my head, or I’m traveling for book signings and retreats. And that doesn’t include my full-time job. Most men are not okay if they aren’t my number one priority.”

“I’m not most men,” Jared says mildly.

“So you wouldn’t feel neglected if⁠—”

“No,” he interrupts.

“But—”