Page 72 of Puck Me Twice
“But then you didn’t date. You didn’t find someone else.”
“Because I knew what I wanted.”
Vanessa looks at me curiously over the top of her wineglass. “And what was that?”
You.
I can’t say that, though.
Can I?
I don’t know.
“Sven, what did you want?”
“I wanted something I couldn’t have,” I tell her carefully.
“And now?”
Gesturing between us with my hand, I exhale slowly. “Well, we’re here now, aren’t we?”
She narrows her eyes. “I don’t understand.”
“Your first day with the Grizzlies was Monday, September 13th,” I tell her.
“What does that have to do with anything? How do you remember my hire date?”
“Because I broke things off with Marika on Wednesday, September 15th.”
Vanessa stares at me.
Squaring my shoulders, I meet her eyes steadily.
“So you broke things off with your fiancée because…”
“I told you at the beginning of this, I have feelings for you.”
She blinks.
“I’ve never hidden that. You stated quite publicly that you would not date any of the team’s players. So I didn’t ask you out,” I tell her evenly. “That didn’t change anything for me.”
“But… you didn’t even know me.” She swallows. “You didn’t say anything to me.”
“We had a connection at the wedding, and I knew I wanted more. After… I needed some time to figure myself out, and then by the time I was ready, it was too late.”
She cocks an eyebrow. “Figure yourself out?”
I lift a shoulder. “I didn’t want you to be a rebound, and if I’d jumped straight from her to you, that’s what it would have been reduced to. I think what we have—what we could have had back then—it was worth more than a fling.”
Vanessa’s eyes flutter a few times. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Is there anything to say? Can’t it just be… fact?”
She sips her wine, quiet. “If I hadn’t asked you to pretend, what would you have done?”
Die celibate, remembering our night together until the end of time.
“You set clear boundaries. You don’t date hockey players.” I swallow. “As much as I hope to have another few years to play, I would have reached out once my career ended.”
