Page 65 of Puck Me Twice

“Indulge me. Humor me.” I stare her down.

“Okay,” she allows, “the marriage part is a little much.”

“I was still coming around to dating for real instead of dating for pretend,” I admit. “And then he throws this curveball at me and I…” I exhale shakily.

“So let’s reframe this,” Bex says seriously. “Question one: do you like him?”

I swallow. “I like him.”

“Question two: do you want to date him?” Sadie joins in.

“Um… I like kissing him,” I allow. “And I like his bird. His house is pretty cool, too.”

Arielle rolls her eyes. “Dating someone is about more than physicality and possessions. Do you like being around him? Does he make you smile? Laugh? Does he make you feel safe?”

“Well, yeah.” I sip my drink. “But marriage…”

“Take marriage off the table,” Bex repeats. “Do you want to date him? Yes or no?”

“I—I⁠—”

Sadie shakes her head. “The real question is, do you want to fuck him?”

“Yes.”

The word slips out immediately, and I flush, covering my face in my hands.

“So your pussy isn’t dead,” Johanna says. “Just hibernating.”

“Definitely not dead.” I think back to how it felt at the game, how everything just melted away until it was him and me and the most perfect kiss. My body warms and I bite my lip, thinking of his growly demands.

“I think you have to go for it,” Ceci says. “You’ll kick yourself otherwise.”

“But—”

Bex rolls her eyes. “For fuck’s sake, Vanessa. We’re saying to screw the guy, not marry him! You deserve to get laid.”

“I don’t want to hurt him, though.”

“So don’t,” Sadie says, like it’s that simple.

“If he wants more⁠—”

“He’s a big boy, he can handle it,” she says. “It’s up to him to decide if he can handle sex without feelings, just like you have to decide if you want sex with feelings. Except he’s not sitting here blathering on about it, he’s living his life.”

“He isn’t, though,” I say quietly.

Sadie’s eyebrows go up.

“He doesn’t go out. He doesn’t hang out with the team. On the road trip, he was watching a movie alone in his room until I interrupted him. He never goes out.”

“Maybe he needs an excuse to go out more,” Bex says. She nods to Arielle and Johanna. “They’re always calling us their social buffers, their reason to get out of the house.”

It hits me suddenly. I sit up straight in my seat.

Arielle and Johanna—they’re both on the spectrum.

So is Sven.