Page 62 of Puck Me Twice

Vanessa

I would like to say that I spent my time off being productive… but instead, I was a potato. I sat on the couch and watched Real Housewives of wherever for hours until my ass got numb, and then I moved to my bed and watched a few more episodes, and then I fell asleep… and when I woke up, I moved back to the couch and started all over again.

Things I did not do in my three days off:

1. Laundry

2. Dishes

3. Wash my hair

Things I did:

1. Approximately nothing

2. Eat my weight in raw cookie dough

3. Obsess over my conversation with Robby

I’m on day two of potato-ing when Elsy gets home from work, sees me, and sighs.

“Oh, honey,” she says, shaking her head. “This is not what we do.”

“Yeah, it is.” I pick out another pre-portioned glob of ready-to-bake cookie dough.

“I gave you some time, but this—it’s too much.” She takes a seat on the other couch, across from mine. “Are you ready to talk about it?”

“He’s gay,” I say bluntly.

Her eyebrows go up. “Sven?”

“What? No. Robby.”

She pauses. “Robby, as in… your college boyfriend?”

I nod.

“The one who works with you?”

Again, I nod.

“Why do we care about Robby? In this context? Aren’t you happy with Sven? He kissed you on national television!” She smiles, like I should be happy about that.

“Yeah, and then two hours later, he said he wanted to marry me,” I tell her bitterly.

Elsy freezes. “Um… what?”

“The last guy who talked about marriage dumped me on my fucking birthday, and now he tells me he planned to propose that night, but I’m just so unloveable he decided he—” I hiccup. “He’s gay. And we were together for two and a half years. What does that say about us?”

Elsy sighs. “Okay, let’s back up a second. Sven said he wants to marry you?”

I nod. “And when we talked about it the next day, he doubled down and said it again. Fuck.” Rubbing at my eyes, I blink away the tears before she can spot them. “So clearly I am an excellent judge of character.”

“Yeah, you are,” she says, ignoring my sarcasm. “What does all this have to do with Robby?”

“He cornered me a few days ago, and he came out to me.”

On the one hand, a part of me does feel gratified that he trusts me enough to share his truth with me, but a bigger piece of me is still reeling from reliving those old memories and hurts.