Page 53 of Puck Me Twice

She bites her lip.

“I play hockey. There’s a certain level of attention that gets focused on me, whether I like it or not.” And ninety-nine percent of the time, I’m firmly in the “not” category.

“I know.” Her voice is strained.

Swallowing my fears, I ask, “Do you not date hockey players because of the notoriety?”

“That’s part of it.” She looks down at her feet. “Robby—he broke my heart. It took me a long time to separate what happened with him and me from everything to do with hockey. It helped to work here, but then I had to keep boundaries because of work. I don’t want anyone to think I’m sleeping my way to a promotion.”

“He cares about you.”

She looks up at me, her eyes wide. “I don’t⁠—”

“He told me yesterday, he supports us,” I continue. “He cares about you.”

Her face twists in an angry scowl. “He can go fuck himself.”

Is it normal to have such bitterness over an ex after so many years? I honestly don’t know. All of my previous relationships ended amicably. Almost unemotionally.

“Regardless.” I clear my throat. “I want you to understand that I’m in this, I’m committed to this. To you.”

“We just started… I mean, yesterday was a lot,” she says helplessly. “What are we doing?”

“Well, we’re dating,” I tell her. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

She nods slowly. “Yeah, but you said⁠—”

“I’m ready for something long-term. I’m ready for… everything.”

Marriage, kids, forever… I want all of that with her, and more.

Vanessa looks away. “Look, it’s…”

“I’m sure about what I want,” I tell her. “That’s not going to change.”

She raises an eyebrow. “It might.”

“It won’t,” I promise.

Vanessa shifts her weight. “Sven…”

“I can wait for you to catch up to me. Just because I’m already there doesn’t mean you have to be, too.”

After all, I’ve had the last three and a half years to prepare.

She swallows. “I need some space.”

eighteen

. . .

Vanessa

My eyes are red and bloodshot when I get into work the next morning. Jacky takes one look at me and hauls me into her office.

“Do I have to maim somebody?” she demands.

I shake my head. “Only if that somebody is me.”