Page 61 of End Game

I’m not familiar with Soo-jin. Sean was on the club hockey teams my brother played with all through middle school. He’s a normal upper middle class white guy. He got a partial scholarship to Notre Dame, busted his knee his freshman year, and was never able to play again. Last I heard, he had dropped out of Notre Dame and transferred to UMass so he could be close to home again.

I didn’t realize they kept in touch all this time, enough to be invited to his wedding. I don’t speak to the majority of the guys I’ve played with over the years. The only real friendship of mine that’s lasted is the one I share with Diana. It’s the only one I’ve ever put real effort into.

“Glad you were able to make it out for it.”

Dougie shrugs. “They seem happy. I had the weekend free. I didn’t have a good enough reason not to come.”

“It’s nice that you’ve been able to stay friends all these years.”

“He’s a good dude,” my brother says.

I’m not the guy that has a bunch of friends; that’s never been me. For the most part, I keep to myself and I keep my social circle small. When I meet someone I want to keep in my life, I keep them close.

“So, Mom called me the other day,” Dougie says, and it’s my turn to roll my eyes.

“Oh no. What did I do wrong now?”

“Are you really shacking up with Diana?”

“Shacking up?”

“Yeah. Are you finally sleeping with her?”

My face heats. Yeah, we’ve slept together, emphasis on slept. It’s certainly nothing I’d write home to my mom about. For one, she’s never liked my best friend. On top of that, she’s never shown an interest in whoever I go out with, except to confirm they’re Chinese… which, usually, they were. If I’m not careful, she’ll start the old ladies matchmaking for me like they do for my brother and all my cousins.

Dougie laughs. “So you finally—”

“No, we’re not… we aren’t…” I sigh. “She’s interested in some dude.”

“Shit. Sorry, dude,” my brother says with a sympathetic frown. “There are other fish in the sea.”

“Yeah. I guess. Did I tell you she set me up with her team captain?”

He nearly drops his coffee cup. “Um, what?”

“Yeah. She thought it would be good for me to date her captain, who pretty much hates her for no real reason. That went well,” I comment blandly, and Dougie snorts.

“I can tell.”

“Maybe I should just let Mom and the aunties do the matchmaking thing. It has to be better than this.”

“If you want a wife, yeah, do it,” my brother says. “If you’re not ready for marriage, hold off as long as you can.”

“Like you are?”

He shrugs. “I told them I want two years after I start working to find someone on my own. I need to get through school first. She recognizes that it’s my priority for right now. I can’t afford to be distracted.”

“And they’re okay with that?”

“I’ll find the proper little Chinese girl and marry her,” he says easily. “She’ll have a good family and good breeding and a trust fund and whatever the hell else they require. As long as we get along decently, I’m down. What she or I do outside the covenants of marriage is nobody’s business but hers and mine.”

“So you’ve put thought into this.” I’ve heard rumors of other people having these types of arrangements, you do yours and I’ll do mine, and as long as there are no children stemming from these… extracurricular activities, everything is fine and dandy.

“Look, marriage is a business transaction,” Dougie says. “Mom and Dad want grandchildren. Ideally, I’d find a lesbian everyone approves of and we’ll conceive through IVF and neither of us have to get our hands dirty. If we have to do it the hard way… well, I’m sure I’ll figure out a way to make it as non-invasive as possible.”

When I think about the future, my future, I don’t want a loveless marriage. I don’t want to be as miserable as Dougie makes it sound. He might treat this as a business transaction, he might want an obedient little wife, but I want someone that I love and trust by my side. I want Diana.

But she doesn’t want me. She wants this generic hipster boy who can’t possibly treat her well enough. She deserves to be treated like a princess, celebrated and cherished. She deserves the world.