Page 25 of End Game

Chapter 9

Barrett

What starts out as a drink or two turns into five or six. Diana and I have only gone out drinking once, over spring break last year, and she was perfectly capable of holding her liquor when we went out to the pub. I didn’t think twice about pouring her an extra cup or two. She knows what she can handle.

Tonight, though… tonight, she is wasted. Straight up trashed. She’s stumbling, wavering on her feet. She sags against me, and I wrap my arms around her waist, helping to hold her upright. Diana giggles, burying her face in my chest.

“You’re so cuddly,” she exclaims, burrowing into me like she wants to wear my skin as her own. “I love how cuddly you are now.”

Greg meets my eye, snickering. Asshole.

“Just for you, baby,” I tell her, setting her back on her own two feet. I keep my hand on her back, holding onto her for as long as she can tolerate.

“I like this new you,” she says. She walks her fingers up the center of my shirt, poking each of the buttons. “I like that you touch me.”

Greg laughs outright.

“Only for you.” I don’t know what I’m saying. I’ve had a few, yeah, but I’m still mostly sober. I’m drunk on her. I need to watch out for her. One of us needs to stay in control. Tonight, that will be me.

Diana pats my cheek. “I like you.”

“I like you, too, baby.” So much. So, so much. Something almost like hope blooms deep within my chest. Maybe she has feelings for me. Maybe she—

“I’m really glad we’re friends,” she says.

And there’s the crushing blow.

“Me, too,” I tell her, because I am glad to have her in my life, in whatever way she’ll allow. Even if it’s not the way I would like.

I’ve loved her from afar for the last six years. I can keep on loving her from a distance for the rest of forever. I would rather have a piece of her heart than have her disappear from my life entirely. I don’t think I could survive having her and then losing her in a breakup.

Tucker and Mason are hanging out with a group of her track friends. Sam and Miles are talking with a bunch of her sorority sisters. Greg and Amir disappear into the den where a group of guys are playing video games, which is where I would normally hang out. I don’t want to sit around with a bunch of smelly dudes when I could be spending time with Diana. Even if she’s completely sauced.

She takes my hand in hers. “Barrett.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re Barrett,” she says, and then she giggles. She stumbles, and I catch her again. “Love you.”

My heart hammers in my chest like I’ve just done fifty suicide sprints in full gear.

Diana groans. “I don’t feel so good.”

“Do you want to get out of here?”

She nods. “Can we get cheese fries?”

“Yeah, baby,” I tell her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and steering her towards the door. “Whatever you want.”

Outside, the wind rustles through the trees. Diana shivers and burrows into my chest, her arm around my waist.

I know she’s drunk. I know she’s not in her right mind. But a part of me really likes when she clings to me, when she trusts in me to get her where she needs to be. She knows she’s safe with me. I don’t take that trust lightly.

We walk through Greek Row. Well, I walk. She prances ahead of me. She doesn’t know where we’re going. Twice she tries to lead me up to another frat house. Calmly, I redirect her to the sidewalk. It almost feels like she’s a small dog going for walkies or a toddler trying to crawl out of a stroller.

It’s about a mile to the main drag of town, and another half a mile down the road to the nearest diner. As we approach the street, I take her hand in mine again and lace our fingers together. I don’t want her to get too far ahead of me, not with all the cars on the road.

The diner is a greasy hole in the wall hidden between a bookstore and a coffee shop. It’s dirty and grimy and perfect. Diana and I settle in a booth near the middle of the place. It’s decently crowded for just past midnight on a Saturday night.