Page 96 of Blitz

“Meaningless sex.”

“But you guys are, like, together. You love each other and shit.” The furrow between his brows deepens. “It’s the very definition of not meaningless. And you’re demi—”

“Yeah, let’s not share my personal shit with the entire room,” I tell him quickly.

Barrett’s eyebrows quirk. “Fuck, dude, you are the most closed off person I know.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are,” Jamal says. “You’ve always been like this. It’s nothing new.”

“Fuck you, I’m not—”

He holds up his phone. “Want me to call Mama for a second opinion?”

“It’s past her bedtime.” I’d be surprised if she stayed up to watch the end of the game. She goes to sleep at ten o’clock, sharp, in order to be at the dental practice for seven a.m. patients. She might start watching at tip-off, but she falls asleep early.

“I’ll wake her up.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me,” my brother taunts. “You hide away in your little shell. You’re like a turtle. You turtle.”

“I’m not a turtle.”

“Why did you and Mason break up?”

“Because she—she—” I take a deep breath. “She couldn’t give me what I needed, and she made choices that I disagreed with. I didn’t want to surround myself with negative influences.”

“It sounds like you’re making a lot of accusations,” Jamal accuses. “You disagreed with her decision making?”

“She’s getting drunk every weekend.”

“So? She’s in college. She’s allowed to.”

“I know she is. I’m not trying to get her to stop,” I explain haltingly. “I just don’t want to be around that kind of lifestyle.”

My brother’s face softens. “You’re not going to turn out like Grandaddy. She’s not going to be like Mom.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to start down that path. I don’t want the temptation. It’s easier if I cut it all out.”

“I drink. Mama drinks,” he says. “I understand why Mom doesn’t. That doesn’t mean you need to abstain entirely.”

I shrug. “I have no interest in it. I don’t like the taste. I don’t need the empty calories. If I’m going to blow my diet, I’d much rather eat ice cream than drink a gallon of jungle juice.”

Jamal sighs, shakes his head. “Okay. So she’s drinking. What else?”

I check my watch. “How much time do you have?”

Chapter forty

Mason

My chest physically aches. I went to the student health center. They found nothing wrong with me. So it’s just my heart that’s breaking.

Tucker was supposed to be my end-game. I wanted a life with him. I just wasn’t ready for that life to begin quite yet.

I don’t know what to do. I live my life on auto-pilot. School. Practice. Homework. At night, I curl up in my cold, empty bed and cry. I screwed up the single greatest thing in my life—for the second time. Except this time it was him walking away. This time it was him giving up. I didn’t try hard enough. I couldn’t tape us back together with glue and a prayer.