Page 64 of Blitz

She makes a noise of contentment. “That’s very grown up of you.”

I sniff. “I’m very mature. I’m almost twenty-one.”

Mason laughs, and even though we’re laying there in the dark, my whole world lights up. I’ll do anything to make her laugh.

“I really do love you, Tuck,” she says into the darkness. “I want to be with you. I want this to work.”

“It will,” I tell her with a confidence I’m not entirely sure is real anymore. “Or it won’t, and we’ll know, and we’ll both be able to move past it.”

“Will you?”

“I don’t know. I hope so. If it’s over, if we try, and it doesn’t work out this time, then I hope I’m able to. I don’t want to be stuck.” I tighten my arm around her. “All I can do is give it my best try. That’s all I can promise you right now. And that has to be enough.”

“It is,” she says, curling into my chest. “It has to be.”

Chapter twenty-six

Tucker

On Tuesdays, Mason has a half hour break between her classes. We spend the time making out in the hallway, in full view of everyone and anyone who walks by, before her alarm goes off and she slips into the classroom seconds before class starts. On Wednesday, we eat dinner with my roommates. Nobody comments on any potentially loud noises they heard on Monday, and everyone is perfectly polite. She’s quiet, but then again, she’s usually quiet in a big group of people she doesn’t know well. I walk her home, her hand in mine, and I kiss her goodbye on the porch for a solid forty-five minutes. We go home to our separate beds and our separate plans.

Thursday she leaves for Rhode Island. It’s a quick drive, but the process of carting over a hundred student athletes, support staff, and coaches on two big coach buses is a laborious one. I meet her in the parking lot of the track and field practice facility with a bottle of orange Gatorade—her favorite—and a chocolate and coconut protein bar—also her favorite—in a gift bag with a few special things. She jumps off the bus and into my arms, kissing me in full view of the track team.

Wolf whistles and catcalls sound off from the other runners. She doesn’t care. She lifts her middle finger at them and kisses me back, again and again and again, until I’m dizzy and breathless.

“You’re here,” she squeals, hugging me again.

“I came to see you off. I’m sorry that I can’t be at your meet on Saturday.”

There’s simply no easy way for me to travel across state lines. There’s no straight bus or train route. I don’t have a car, nor does anyone that I know. I have to support her from afar.

She clutches the gift bag to her chest. “You made this for me?”

I rub the back of my neck. “It’s only a few odds and ends.”

A book of crossword puzzles and a sparkly purple pen. A slap bracelet. Some chewing gum. And a small stuffed monkey, because she loves monkeys.

“Baby, thank you.” She gives me a sweet kiss. “I love it.”

“I love you.” My hands tighten on her hips. “You’re the best part of my life, Mase. I want to make you happy. That’s all I want to do.”

“You do. You are.” Her eyes are mysteriously bright, and she sniffs a few times. “I love you, too, King.”

I brush my gloved thumb across her cheek. “Run fast at the meet. You’re going to crush them.”

Her tender smile turns cocky. “You know I will.”

I kiss her again, once more for luck. Or for me, because I need it, too.

“Get on the bus. I’ll see you Sunday.” I swat her gently on the ass. “I’ll miss you.”

“Miss you more.” She kisses me one last time and then pulls away. She boards the bus and waves at me from the window, where she’s hanging over Fred. Her friend squeals and grabs at the goody bag.

I wait until the bus pulls out of the parking lot, and then I go back to my everyday life.

The assessment center feels empty without Mason there beside me. I don’t like it. My bed feels cold and empty without her in it. She’s only been back in my life for a week, and already I feel the absence of her presence as acutely as I did in the first weeks after the breakup.

But we haven’t broken up. We’re simply going through a rough patch. Growing pains. We’ll get better at this. She’ll figure out whatever is bothering her, and we’ll go back to having awesome earth shattering sex a few times a week and everything will be fine. It’ll be great. We’ll go back to being us again.