Page 61 of Blitz

We lay sprawled out for several minutes. I wish I could touch her. I wish I could hold her.

She struggles to sit up, her face carefully, intentionally blank.

“Don’t get up.” Rolling across the bed to get to her, I wrap my arms around her and hold her to me like a koala afraid to let go of its tree branch.

“Tucker, I need to clean up.”

I sigh. “That’s where we went wrong.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She squirms free and swings her legs over the side of the mattress.

“Last time we had sex, we were fine, and then you went to the bathroom, and all of a sudden we weren’t fine anymore.” I catch her hand in mine. “So don’t get up. Let’s stay in our perfect little sex bubble.”

“We’re fine,” she tells me. She rolls away and heads to the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind her.

But we aren’t fine.

Chapter twenty-five

Tucker

She’s distant when she comes back. Put together in a way that I can’t penetrate.

“Let’s go to bed,” she says, crawling back onto the mattress.

“Okay.” It’s still early. I’m usually up for another three hours. But if it means I get to fall asleep with her in my arms...

“I have a class at nine.”

I clear my throat. “We have a lift at eight. I usually head out around seven thirty.”

She smiles. It looks forced. “Perfect. That will give me enough time to shower and get ready.”

It feels so clinical. Mechanical. Like we’re slipping into this automatic routine, boring and predictable. Are we already so entrenched in our ways?

“I’m going to take a shower,” I announce.

She blinks. “Now?”

“Yeah. I’m all sweaty. Do you… would you like to join me?”

She swallows. “Your roommates won’t mind?”

“Mase, we’re not going to fuck in the shower. We’ll lock Barrett’s door. He won’t walk in on us. It’s a shower.”

“Yeah, I can… we can…”

“I’m not pressuring you into doing anything you don’t want to do,” I tell her, more harshly than I want to. “Join me, don’t join me, I need a shower before I go to bed.”

She flinches. “Tucker.”

I’m done. I’m not avoiding this any longer. Still naked, I make my way into the bathroom and lock Barrett’s door, though he’s usually pretty good about not barging in while I’m in there. I start the water and pull an extra towel out—just in case.

I’m in the shower for less than thirty seconds when Mason pushes aside the curtain.

“Can I still join you?”

“Always, baby.” I hold out my hand, and she steps into the tub. Her hair is pulled up into a haphazard bun. She shivers, and I move aside so she can get the benefit of the hot water.