Page 41 of Blitz

“Shhh,” she says, running her thumb over my bottom lip. I bite that thumb, and she giggles.

“I love you.” There’s a lump in my throat I can’t clear. I’m so overcome by my feelings, I don’t know how to survive it. If I can survive it.

“I love you, too,” she says, her smile sweet, but her eyes are sad.

I collapse onto the bed beside her. I should go clean up. I should help her clean up. I should do something. Say something.

She curls up beside me, her head on my chest as we both work to regulate our breathing. For being a big guy, I’m in pretty decent shape, but the last two hours have made it clear I need to spend a few more days on cardio and a little less time lifting weights. Well, let’s not go crazy. Just adding the cardio should make a difference.

Eventually, she shifts. Mason turns away and wordlessly heads to the bathroom to clean up. I tie off the second condom and wipe up with the washcloth strategically waiting on my bedside table.

Something is up with her. I wish I knew what it was. Is it that we’re rushing into this? I hope not. I hope it’s just something else bothering her, like track drama or a demanding coach or something with her friends.

She’s withdrawn into herself again when she comes out of the bathroom.

“We should talk,” I say, offering her my hand. She doesn’t take it.

“I’m exhausted.” She yawns and stretches. I’m momentarily distracted by the swell of her chest as her lungs expand and contract. “Can I stay the night?”

“Of course, Princess.” I force myself into motion. I straighten the sheets and pull the blankets over the bed.

She comes up behind me. She wraps her arms around me, her head on my back.

“I’m so happy we’re doing this,” she says to my back.

But she doesn’t sound happy. She sounds miserable.

I force myself to clear my throat, clear the moment. “Do you want a t-shirt to sleep in?”

“Ooh, yes, please.”

Slowly, I disentangle her arms from around me. I grab an old shirt from freshman year and hand it to her. It’s comically large on her. The fabric hangs nearly to her knees and down to her elbows. She doesn’t care. She hugs herself with a wistful smile on her face.

“Come on, baby,” I tell her, offering my hand again. “Let’s go to bed.”

This time she takes it.

We crawl onto the mattress, and I pull the covers over her. She scoots over until she’s wrapped around me, her head on my chest.

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?”

My calendar is wide open. “I need to get a lift in, probably in the afternoon. The guys and I usually go around two.”

“How about we stay all day in bed and only leave to go get food?” She grins up at me, her eyes tired. “I like the way that sounds.”

“As long as we also go to the pharmacy, I’m good with that plan.”

“What’s at the pharmacy?”

I chuckle quietly. “A new box of condoms. I only have one left.”

Her swallow is loud in the quiet room. “Oh.”

“You should have seen me sneaking around the house to steal them.” I shake my head. “It’s the only thing I really should do, like, ASAP. Everything else on my to-do list can wait a few days.”

“You don’t keep them on hand?”

“I don’t need them. I don’t use them.” I run my hand over her upper arm, memorizing the feel of her. She’s all lithe muscle, solid, compact. “I never came close to wanting to use them. It just wasn’t on my radar.”