Page 50 of Just Wait

I have no idea if Malcolm is even interested in me or if he just feels sorry for me, but it seems like Tennyson is assigning a lot more value to me in Malcolm’s life than what I perceive it to be.

What anyone would think it would be under the circumstances.

I like Mal…a lot.

That doesn’t mean it will impact him at all when I leave. He could hop right along to the next sad, broken girl that he comes across and rescue her too.

The thought makes my stomach twist uncomfortably, and I bring a hand to rub away the ache.

I got out of a relationship less than twenty-four hours ago. Hopping directly into another seems like a recipe for disaster.

Tennyson gives me an expectant look, and I nod.

“I hear you,” I mutter, turning to take off for the bus.

By the sounds of their shoes crunching against the concrete, I’m going to guess that they keep pace at my side.

“Good,” Tennyson says, tossing an arm around my shoulder. He gestures to the right with his hand on my arm, and I naturally follow his line of sight. “Because your ex just spotted you.”

“Jesus, dude,” Parish says. “You want me to tell him to get lost, Lumen?”

“No.” I stop dead in my tracks, which causes Tennyson’s arm to drag me forward until he gets the hint. “But don’t throw my straw away. I’m going to need to be really numb after this conversation.”

“Ah, yes, getting blitzed.” Tennyson chuckles. “It’s my favorite way to forget how much life loves to kick me in the teeth. Good luck.”

Chapter Thirteen

Lumen

Theo meets me near the end of Liminal’s bus. Parish and Tennyson continue on inside, and it feels like I lost the last bit of protection I had.

Not that they would have come to my rescue, but they were the best chance I had.

“Jesus Christ, Lumen,” Theo says, grabbing my arm and pulling me in for a hug. “I’ve been losing my mind. I can’t believe you came back.”

He’s so familiar.

It’s almost comforting.

I think I know how people overlook cheating because my brain is busy reminding me of all the good times.

How he held me together when I found out about my dad’s cirrhosis. It wasn’t exactly shocking. The man still drinks like a fish, and his alcoholism will kill him one day not very far down the line. I tried so many times to get him to take care of himself, but nothing I could say or do would get through to him.

Theo didn’t blame me for trying, and he was right by my side the entire time.

If I break up with him, I won’t have anyone who lived through those moments with me.

All the inside jokes we built up over the last year will become meaningless.

There won’t be anyone to snuggle with when I’m having a bad day.

Logically, I know I’ll eventually build new experiences with someone else, but I’m still grieving the ones I’ll lose.

I hate that he put us in this position.

“I saw the video of you caught in the pit,” he says against the side of my head. “What the fuck was that bodyguard doing? He was supposed to be protecting you.”

My hand digs into his back as my head shakes.