Page 6 of Meet Cute

“You got a pen and paper back there?” I ask, reapproaching the counter while Finn fiddles with something just out of sight.

“Here!” He slides it across the glass. “Is this… like, okay? You don’t feel forced or anything, right?”

That’s an odd question.

“No, not at all. I… I guess I don’t have all that many friends right now.”

Finn's shoulders drop. “...Me neither.”

“Text me when you get a chance, okay?” I scribble my number on a yellow post-it note, sliding it back towards him with a stupid grin that definitely makes me seem dorky. “Have a good shift, Finn.”

“B-Bye, Duncan! Have a good shift!” He freezes. “I mean, uh—night! Have a good night!”

With a little wave I step out into the cool night air. It’s nice out, even with all the clouds and the biting weather I still feel pretty good about everything. My phone buzzes with a text, and although I expect to see Haley’s name an unknown number appears instead.

503-XXX-XXXX

Hi, Duncan! Thank you for visiting me at work today. I was really happy to see you. Please get home safe, okay?

Maybe: Finn

It’s Finn, by the way! From the gas station!

The most charming part about all of this is that I don’t even think he’s trying to be so dorky. I think I understand him. It’s been far too long since I’ve hung out with anybody.

I could say I tried dating apps and stuff, but I didn’t. There were times I wanted to, but all the photos I took of myself seemed so wrong. I don’t go anywhere, and that becomes painstakingly obvious when all my pictures are bathroom selfies.

But this could be something different. I really hope it is something different, because god I could really use a friend right now.

FIVE

It takes a hot minute for me to notice how cold it is when I get home. I could’ve sworn that I closed my window when I left, but obviously I’m just a forgetful idiot. Nice work, Duncan.

When it closes I’m greeted with unnerving silence. My heavy eyes wander down to the frayed edges of my cloth bedframe, all torn up and ruined thanks to my cat Chalupa. For once the little guy isn’t hiding in my closet or under the couch. He’s all curled up on my bed and I decide then and there that cuddling with him will cure me for at least the rest of the night.

Despite only being around Finn for thirty minutes, the drive there and back took a good three hours. It’s nearly midnight, and even after sleeping all day I am more than ready to sleep another ten hours. I like sleeping. I like being able to pretend things are fine and I’ll wake up to a better life.

Jordan

Duncan, you have not responded to any of my previous attempts to contact you. You’ve already called out for so many days, and now you are ignoring me entirely?

It doesn’t take a genius to guess where this is going, and I can’t even blame him for that. I saw all his missed calls when I woke up, and I chose to ignore them. I’m ignoring everything at this point.

Jordan

You have left me with no choice but to terminate your employment with us. I hope whatever is going on with you gets better soon.

The last part of that text is really irritating. Jordan is—was—my boss at a stupid fucking office that I hate, and I know for a fact he doesn’t give two shits what is going on with me and he couldn’t care less if it “gets better.”

I want it to get better too, but I know it won’t. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. I don’t need to worry about next month’s rent because I probably won’t be alive. It would be so easy to just end my suffering right now.

It’s not as if sitting in an office all day was my dream. I don’t even know what I used to dream of. It always felt like everyone around me had some semblance of an idea of how their lives would go, but me? I was lagging behind for so long—waiting and waiting for it to click.

But it never did.

No one would miss me. Even if I left some vindictive ass suicide note I doubt my family would even read it. If they did, would they care? Would they be able to move on with their lives knowing they made me feel this way?

I bet they could. They’d probably be happy, too. No more worrying about how faggy Duncan is tarnishing the family legacy or whatever bullshit they’d use to justify it. I hate this. I hate everything.