Page 45 of Meet Cute

I’m just me. Duncan Armette. Local closet case. But to him, I’m so much more. That feeling of being needed is the most addictive drug. It makes me feel happy and warm and erratic all at once.

Without so much as a peep I lean forward, gently kissing him. It’s not like before. There’s nothing I need saving from, and that's truly the worst parts. I’m doing this because I want to—because it feels right.

I can’t make any more excuses for myself. I want this. I’m doing this because I want it. I’m afraid it stopped being about survival a long time ago, and I’m honestly not sure what to make of that.

Finn’s hands grab hold of my cheeks, pulling me back so he can stare into my eyes. He's like the most pathetic thing, eyes glimmering in the dim lighting of the sunset outside his bedroom.

“I love you,” he whines out so needily. “Can you say it back, please?”

The little fantasy I had in my head cracks, tiny shards spilling out right into my psyche. I can’t say that. I don’t—I don’t think I feel that. Do I feel it? What does love feel like? How can I love him?

His expression shifts into something full of sorrow, but he doesn’t do anything other than kiss my forehead. “...It’s okay. I know… it’s a lot to a-ask. But… you’ll say it one day.”

I think I agree with him. My legs are fucked. Completely fucked. They’re probably going to be disfigured, and I doubt I'll ever get to walk again. Yet here I am, cozying up to the man who did it and kissing him.

What the hell happened to me? How did I get this bad?

THIRTY-FOUR

The living room air is suffocating. The fireplace is way too hot despite the heavy snowstorm outside. We might have a power outage, since the lights have been flickering every now and then.

Still, Finn and I are watching TV on the couch. Sitting with his legs spread, I’m nestled between them and pressed up against him all tight. Even doing something as mundane as this, he’s got a death grip on me as if I could go anywhere.

“You’re q-quiet, bunny.” He mumbles into my neck, the flesh there marred with hickeys and bite marks. “More than usual… Are you okay?”

“Just thinking.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Even without seeing his face, I know Finn frowns. “Bunny…”

“It’s my parents. I was… thinking about it. After we talked earlier,” I groan, “and I guess I’m kind of in the same boat. I mean… my parents weren’t as bad as yours, probably. But… Ugh.”

He shrugs, playing with the fabric of the cream sweater he gave me. “I hate your parents,” he says matter of factly—as though I should’ve known that. “They’re horrible. J-Just horrible…”

“You don’t even know them.”

“So? I know what they did to you. Anyone who could do that to my bunny…” Finn trails off before shaking his head. “Don’t like them. It’s like how you feel about my dad.”

I want to lecture him, and tell him how wrong he is. But he really isn’t—our parents aren’t that dissimilar. Plus, his vehement reaction is a lot more inviting than I want it to be. Not even Haley was that upset, and she’s known me for way longer than Finn has.

“I guess.” Leaving it at that, I flip around and nuzzle into him with a weary huff. My body goes on auto-pilot mode and kisses the top of his head, the same way you would to a cute cat or something.

He practically freezes on the spot, processing it before looking up at me with the sweetest eyes. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was an angel. “Mmh…” he whimpers, squeezing me tighter. “Duncan…”

“W-What?”

“Can we kiss?”

Without so much as a second thought I reposition myself so my hands rest on his shoulders, tracing tender circles around his shirt. The man underneath me is not the kind of man I ever thought I’d be interested in in any capacity.

Unkempt hair. Clingy. Old ass clothes that he probably doesn’t wash enough. It’s all the opposite of the kind of man I thought I’d end up with—not that I really thought about that in the first place.

He’s also not well, but that’s obvious. It’s not that I think he’s any of that horrible shit he calls himself, because I’d never think that about anyone. But clearly all the time he’s spent alone has messed with his head in more ways than one.

The funniest part of it all is that I don’t even give a fuck. Who else will ever love me this strongly? I’d compare anyone else I met to Finn whether I like it or not. Regardless of how this ends, he’s always going to be part of my life.