Page 5 of Walk the Line

“Let’s get this all in order then.”

It’s the nicest place I’ve seen so far, and I don’t see the point of dragging this day out any longer to continue with an activity that’s bottom of the barrel when it comes to enjoyment for me. I even think I got that feeling that I was looking for, but I’ll probably never be able to confirm that because I still don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.

There is the matter of not knowing who my roommates will be yet. Well, apart from…one. My first meetings with people don’t tend to be great anyway because I can say with certainty I give people plenty of reasons not to like me in the first few minutes. But I think I successfully annoyed my new roommate enough that I don’t have to worry about her trying to seek out a friendship with me.

That’s what I’m really hoping to avoid with this.

There’s a reason I chose the downstairs bedroom, apart from it being a good enough size for me. I just won’t go upstairs which is fine because I won’t ever need to.

I don’t even care who else moves in, to be honest. I’ve been keeping myself to myself for a long time. I did the same last year in my first year and I don’t see why that needs to change now.

CHAPTER THREE

KAYLAH

The worst part about adulting, if that’s what I could call what I’m doing right now, is being the only one responsible for getting food down my stomach. But in order to do that, I would have to go shopping, which is a task that feels insurmountable to me, regardless of whether it’s online or in person.

It just feels like too much. But I guess that anything that involves even just a little bit of energy from me tends to that feel that way. It’s easiest for me to just stay laid up in this bed all day, my thoughts swirling around why I’m the worst person in this world and how bad this year will inevitably go for me.

I’m trying. I’m trying to just not…do this to myself. Because maybe I’ve been thinking too hard about the possibilities of my antidepressants not working, that I now feel like that’s exactly what’s happening. After being diagnosed just a few months ago, I kept up with all my moods at all times of the day.

When I picked up on the slight improvement in how I was feeling, I thought I’d found the solution for me. But months later I can’t stop the spiralling constantly happening in my mind, where I think about whether I’m ever going to feel different than I do now. Feeling like I’m back to square one.

I had a plan in those first few days. It feels like a fever dream now, but I had every intention of making an attempt at this whole life thing. This whole being present in the world thing that I struggle with. It’s definitely…interesting being in my own world most of the time then having to catch up.

But then old habits die hard, especially when I’ve been in this house by myself for two months now. And without even a knock on the door from someone selling me something or the inevitable delivery driver, I’ve barely seen anyone, leaving me to my thoughts which take me to great places.

Luckily, I packed several months worth of toiletries and staple food items so I haven’t needed to go outside but that’s what gets me into this predicament in the first place.

This start isn’t exactly setting me up for the best outcome at Wildern University, which would be to not get expelled this year. In order to manage that, I know I have to try to do things differently, especially when it comes to my studies. Hockey is probably the only thing I’m not worried about.

Maybe I could just put on a movie or something. I would hope my attention span would be good enough that I can get through one. It’s been a while since I’ve been into a good Thriller.

But just as I’m adjusting myself on the bed to grab my laptop, a sound creeps into the room from what seems to be downstairs. I immediately pick up on…the door being opened and shut?

It could be the landlord. Although she never told me she would be coming by today.

Maybe I won’t jump to counting down from five this time seeing as that went down so well the last time.

But the prospect of being burgled is probably the only thing that can get me up right now.

I take a deep breath and waste no time in making my way down the stairs as silently as I can.

Who even does this when they’re being burgled?

The shuffling is what hits my ears the most, and it sounds like it’s coming from…the bathroom?

But as I speed walk my way to the bathroom once I land at the bottom of the stairs, something I can’t quite make out catches my eyes in all the haste, and before I know it I’m backtracking until I see it again.

It’s only when I’m standing in front of the bedroom by the bathroom a few seconds later that I see it.

Or should I say him?

“What is…happening here?” I ask.

This is one of those times when I can give myself a pat on the back for proving the person who came up with, “There are no stupid questions” wrong, because that in fact, was a stupid question.

I open my mouth to backtrack once again, but now the figure is turning around and…oh, for fuck’s sake.