Page 7 of Falling Again

“Do you climb outside often?”

“Only when my buddy from college, Griff, comes to visit. He texted me the other day that he’s planning on stopping through soon, so maybe then. When it’s cold, the rock face has more grip. In the summer, my hands get sweaty so it’s a bit more tricky to climb. I usually stick to the local rock gym.”

“Will you take me rock climbing again?”

“To the gym, you mean?” I ask not hiding the wide smile taking over my face.

“Yeah, I enjoyed it.”

Rock climbing is my favorite hobby. Nothing clears my head and fills me with more pride than scaling the difficult side of a mountain. Or a challenging course at the rock gym. I should give Griff a heads up to plan a climb while he’s here. He, Miles, and I would often climb together in college. Griff is the only one who made a career out of it. He travels the world and has told me some of the most mind boggling climb stories. He’s climbed nearly every route in Yosemite. A part of me wishes I had the same feats but I’m not envious of the injuries he gets. Each time he passes through, I work with him on physical therapy recovery. He’s gotten injured a few times and has stayed with me while he recovers. Griff’s love for climbing is infectious. Reid goes climbing with me at times, but doesn’t have the same passion. The fact that Chloe wants to explore my favorite hobby with me means more than she realizes.

“I’d love that.”

“You love a lot of stuff,” she jokes with me.

Only when it comes to you, I say silently in my head.

“We’re here!” I exclaim, setting my SUV into park.

“Geez, Ty, where did you take me? Feels like we’ve been driving for hours.”

“It was like a thirty-minute drive.”

“I guess I’m used to getting anywhere I need to be in under twenty. Small-town living perks. Well, except if we want to go to a mall or something, which—sheesh, I haven’t been to a mall in ages.”

We exit my car, I put Scooter on his leash, and the three of us head over to the trailhead. I chose an easy two-mile loop hike, with a few moderate hills, but nothing exhausting. Chloe mentioned she wanted to get some painting inspiration, and this spot is perfect for that. It has a couple unexpected points that I’m sure will get her inspired.

The start of the hike is quiet. We pass a few other people on the path, nodding and giving curt waves. I figured it would be busy, so this is a pleasant surprise. It’s a gorgeous late summer day on a Saturday. The trail becomes cooler as the redwood trees provide shade, but pockets of sunlight shine through the branches. Occasionally, I’ll glance at Chloe, who gathered her curls in a blue claw clip at the top of her head. As we walk the trail, the sun dances around her as if she shines back at it. With each pocket of light, she tilts her head up in greeting.

She occasionally pauses to take pictures on her phone or to collect a flower or fallen leaf. The four of us friends have been on some hikes together before, and it’s become my favorite activity to do as a group. However, it didn’t start that way. Annika works as a professional photographer and brings her film camera with her nearly everywhere she goes. When we went on a hike a few months ago, she brought about three rolls of film with her, and I thought it was unnecessary. Why lug around all that extra weight? Then I realized that she was constantly taking photos. It was almost unbearable to hike and have to stop as she’d snap pictures. It felt more like a photo tour than a hike. After she developed the images and shared them, I never complained about her bringing her camera again. The photos were incredible. She perfectly captured the light breaking through the trees and some candid ones of us hiking together.

One of my favorite photos was from a hike we took recently. Reid, Chloe, and I are holding hands around a large Redwood tree, and all you can see is Reid’s head jutting out the side behind the massive trunk. I had her develop a larger print for me and framed it to display in my house.

“So, what was it like growing up here?” Chloe asks, pulling me out of my memory.

“It was quiet, and I didn’t appreciate it then like I do now. It seemed like everyone knew each other, and nothing new ever happened. It was frustrating as a kid because I wanted to see new things. I hoped a new kid would move to town so I could have someone new to meet. I didn’t appreciate all the good things Auburn Hills offers.”

“Well, to your young self’s defense, everyone does know each other. Even though I’ve only been here a few months, I know every business owner on Main Street by first name.”

“You do? Wow, that was fast.”

“I like talking to people. So, I usually ask a question of whoever is working. Then it usually turns into a longer chat, and before you know it, I’ve made a new friend. But I get what you mean. Ojai, where Annika and I are from, is super small, too. Not as friendly as Auburn Hills, however. Some people are snobby there.”

“There are those people everywhere. Did you like growing up in Ojai?”

“Honestly, no. The town reminds me of so many crappy childhood memories that I tend not to reminisce. When Annika and I went to college, I felt like I could be someone new,” Chloe says with a frown, and she shakes it away. “Is that how you felt at college?”

She asks, pointing to the sweatshirt I’m wearing. “Yeah, totally. Same thing for me, going from a small town to a bigger one. Eugene, a couple of hours from here. It’s not a ‘big city’ by any means, but it felt like it was for me. For the first time, I felt like I could breathe. I discovered rock climbing while I lived there. Met some of my best of friends. I fell in and out of love. I lived on my own for the first time.”

“I can relate to that, the feeling like you can finally breathe freely. I felt the same way when we moved to San Diego. Like I could reinvent myself.” She smiles longingly at me. I think she’s going to elaborate more, but then she says, “Well, wait, why did you come back? It seems like you loved it there.”

I can feel myself closing up at Chloe’s question. She doesn’t know what happened. I never told her or Annika. They know I moved back for a family reason. Annika asked me about my parents, and I said they weren’t around anymore. She got the hint and didn’t mention it again. I’m guessing Reid told her about it in private. I assumed she told Chloe, but I guess not. I should tell Chloe myself, but it’s just too sad. I don’t want her to feel sorry for me. I don’t want her to look at me any differently than she does now. And that always happens as soon as I tell people that both of my parents died.

“I did love it there. I still do. I’ve been back a few times. My best friend from college, Miles, lives there still. So, I’ve visited him and his wife a few times a year.” Chloe nods along, letting me continue. “One day, about a year after I graduated from college, I got a call that my parents were in a car accident.” And there it is. The truth tumbled out of my mouth because I couldn’t not tell her. Something about Chloe just makes me want to be real. Even if it means she’ll treat me differently.

Chloe gasps softly and stops, grabbing my arm. “Ty, I’m so sorry. You don’t need to say anything.”

“No, it’s okay. I want to tell you. I came back to Auburn Hills when my parents got in an accident four years ago. I intended to come back, sell the ranch and go back to Eugene. But as soon as I stepped foot in my house, I realized it was the only thing that connected me to them.” Chloe gently rubs circles on my arm with her thumb. I take a deep breath and close my eyes briefly.