Page 54 of Falling Again

“You’re alarmingly strong,” I say, stumbling backward.

“I started taking some kickboxing classes,” she says, shrugging. “He’s some asshole from college. It’s an embarrassing story, but yeah, I went through some shit with Trey, an awful hookup at Club Dano. I haven’t thought about him in years. He’s not worth the breath to even talk about.”

“I should’ve been there for you,” Reid says with glassy eyes, looking at Annika.

Annika’s face morphs into several emotions in a few seconds. I am seeing her heart break and heal before my eyes. She walks over to Reid and gives him a deep kiss before hugging him tightly and saying something to him. I can’t make it out, but I see his head nodding into her neck. I walk over to Chloe, who is sitting on a bench near the entrance. She reaches up to my middle and hugs me. Not the same heated touch like we shared inside, but a reassuring and grateful hug. I hug her back as if to say, “I’m always here.”

She buries her face in my abdomen and I can’t help but panic at where we go from here. Chloe is moving to the ranch. Chloe and I just kissed twice. Everything is different now and it will be impossible to stay away from her.

My phone buzzes in my back pocket and I see the car service I requested while we walked out of the party is a minute away. “All right, you two lovebirds,” I call out to Annika and Reid who are making out, “our rideshare is here.”

“I can’t wait to be home,” Chloe says as we pile into the car.

“We’ll be there in twenty-five minutes,” I say.

“No, in Auburn Hills. I can’t wait to be home,” Chloe corrects me.

“Me too.” I agree looking back at my motley crew of friends in the back seat.

TWENTY-THREE

CHLOE

NOW

I never thought there would be a day when I’d be happy to get out of California. I always thought it made sense that I was born and raised there. I thrive in the sunshine, and Southern California has sunshine most of the year, even in the winter. But my experiences in the sunny state have left me feeling cloudy. I thought the trip to visit Anni’s family and Aimee’s party would make me feel nostalgic, like I would yearn to be back. However, I don’t. In fact, I am craving a return to the foggy valley and the people in it. My mind wanders to Tyler, as it does lately. I never expected to meet someone like him when we moved here, and yet, I can’t imagine my life without him. Even if it doesn’t feel permanent, Auburn Hills feels more like home than anywhere else.

As we approach Auburn Hills, after cresting the peak in the west, the road dips down, and you can practically see the entire town. The small expanse of four sections is divided by Main Street in the center. I look toward the hills in the north to try to see if I can make out Tyler’s ranch. Then it hits me: Annika is moving out of our house. This will be the first time in years that we will be living separately. The codependent creature inside of me feels fearful, but another part of me can’t help but feel like this is what I need. A wave of anxiety washes over me, but this time, I welcome it with open arms.

Annika and I enter our house, and the remaining boxes of Annika’s belongings nearly move me to tears. Her clothes and books are almost packed up, and she’s started grabbing other things. We only lived here for half a year, so we weren’t completely settled yet. In fact, upon arrival, we signed a six-month lease with our landlord, Sheela, just in case the house wouldn’t be a good fit. It worked out for us after all because Annika moved in with the love of her life, but it left me feeling a bit stranded.

Thank goodness I can rent Tyler’s cottage. Tyler is another entire topic that both overwhelms me and excites me. When Dane and I broke up for good, I made a private declaration to swear off love. I even stopped reading romance novels for a long time because of the heartbreak that Dane left me with. But the kisses with Tyler at the party has me reconsidering things. The way he was protective of me, but also trusted me to talk to Dane. Not to mention the near kiss when we were dancing. My heart swells at the thought of having someone like that in my life. But I still feel like bits of myself are scattered about, and I’m trying to find all the pieces to put back together. Some of the pieces are lost, and I have no idea where to start looking.

Annika emerges from her room and stops short. “Why are you standing in the middle of the living room looking like a sad puppy?” she asks.

Dandy emerges from the kitchen, takes a big stretch, and catwalks over to me. We stopped by to pick her up from Reid’s parents on our way back home. I bend down to pick her up and give her a snuggle. She immediately relaxes me. I knew I needed her comfort and couldn’t stand another day without her by my side. “I’m reminiscing. I’m going to miss you,” I say, pouting dramatically.

“That’s it, I’m not moving. I’m going to call Reid right now.”

“No! You need to move—you and he need to be together already. I’ll be okay. I’ll miss you, but I’ll be okay. Do you need help packing anything? You still need to pack your postcard art,” I say, motioning up to the poster-size framed collection of all of Annika’s favorite postcards. Some she and I found together at antique shows, some I’ve sent her over the course of our friendship.

“Reid is going to come over to help take it down since I used industrial-strength sticky tape to put it up there. Which reminds me,” she says and darts back into her room and comes back with a large frame, the back facing me. “I made this for you.” She turns it around to show me a similar collage. It’s about half the size of hers, and my eyes scan the postcards. They are placed in a grid, some with the art side up and some with the writing side up. The ones with the writing are postcards she’s sent me that I’ve had jammed in a memory box. Others are from places we’ve both been and places we’ve said we’ve always wanted to visit. Like New York City and Paris, even Philadelphia, because a book series we both love takes place there. I feel my eyes welling with tears, and instead of hiding them, I let them pour out.

“I love it so much,” I say, setting down Dandy and taking the frame from her.

“We will always be together, no matter how far apart we physically are. I am so incredibly proud of you, Chloe. And if you ever need me, I’ll be there.”

“I know,” I say, throwing my arms around her in a big embrace.

“I’m just moving up the hill. Not going very far.”

Anni pulls back to give me a knowing look, as if she knows more than I do. “I can’t believe we are grown-ass women. When did that happen!” I laugh with tears streaming down my cheeks and hold her tighter.

We hug for a few minutes longer, and then she pats the back of my head. Annika always makes this small gesture when we hug, and it makes me feel so safe and comforted. Mia does it too I realized from our trip.

“I’m going to move into Tyler’s guesthouse,” I say as we separate and sit on the couch. I realize we may have to sell some of our furniture since both houses we are moving into already have furniture.

“Yes, I know.” She chuckles, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Just up the hill. Hey … we never had a chance to talk about him. Since the trip,” she says, leaning back and grabbing Dandy to pet her.