Page 53 of Falling Again

“Hey, keep steady breaths,” I hear Michael say as he’s still rubbing my back, and I realize I’m starting to hyperventilate again.

“What do I need to do?” I ask into the phone.

“You need to come home,” the officer says. He lists off a few other things and tries to give me his number. I can’t listen anymore, so I hand the phone to Michael, who takes down the information.

I don’t know how long I sit on the bench outside the sandwich stand. Remnants of laughter about fishing and sandwich orders linger in the air. Guilt over living away from my parents washes over me. I should have been with them more because now, I will never make new memories with them. I won’t get to see them grow old. They won’t get to see me fall in love or get married. At some point, Michael helps me up and takes me back to the office.

Sitting in the break room, I feel immense hollowness. Nothing matters to me anymore, because the two people I care about most aren’t here to share it with me. I don’t even know what to do. I feel so young at twenty-four. My dad still helps me file my taxes.

I’ve been sitting with these thoughts for an hour when Miles comes in, and when I see him, I start to hyperventilate again.

“Hey, you’ll be okay. You’re not alone,” he says, pulling me into his arms. For the first time since hearing the news, I break and sob into my best friend’s chest. I wish I believed him, because I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay.

TWENTY-TWO

TYLER

NOW

Chloe leads Dane over to the balcony, and I snake out of the makeshift dance floor to a spot against the wall so I can keep an eye on her. I trust she can handle herself, but I don’t trust him. I don’t need to know the details of their relationship to connect the dots that he’s the root of her reluctance to trust people—the reason why she pushes me away. But I can only assume.

I start a five-minute timer on my phone. I’m not letting it go a second past five minutes before I make sure he never sets eyes on her again. I am not a fan of his body language. His arms are reaching towards her, and she steps back, her arms crossed around her chest. It’s not terribly cold outside, but Chloe is wearing scraps of clothing. I’d take everything off my back for her, even if it made her just a drop more comfortable than she is now. She’s shaking her head from side to side. I think I see her mouthing no. I huff through my nostrils, restraining myself to stay back. She can handle this.

Something shifted between her and me a few moments ago. If Dane hadn’t interrupted us, that line that she drew in between us before we left on the trip would be erased. Snapped. Shattered. The existence that there was even a line would be debated. Because the way I felt with Chloe just now, I’ve never felt it with anyone before. It reminds me of when I’d see my parents together. When they’d garden or cook together. Or just be together. I couldn’t imagine there would be anyone else for them. They were so perfect for each other. I haven’t felt those feelings in a long time. But I do with Chloe. I look over to her again and back at the timer. Two minutes. My heart beats in her direction, yearning for me to go toward her.

Chloe reaches her hand up to Dane’s arm and pats his shoulder. In just a few seconds, my thoughts are flooded with questions. What if he is convincing her to move back here? What if she wants to give him another chance and leave her life in Auburn Hills? This is where she is from; I wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to. When you give that many years of your life to someone, it is hard to let go completely.

I experience all seven stages of grief by the time Chloe reenters the apartment, her eyes searching until they land on mine. She smiles, and the timer in my pocket goes off. I reach her in a few strides, taking her face in my hands and planting a firm kiss on her lips. She balls my shirt in her fists as she pulls me closer. The previous kiss was pure energy. This kiss is sealing our decision to go beyond the border of friends.

I pull back, caressing the side of her face gently before asking, “How did it go?” I take the risk of looking back up toward Dane, who has his back turned and making his way down a hallway.

“He took it well, I think? He could see I was happy and moved on. Honestly, I don’t think I care what he thinks. I’ve let that part of my life go.” She pauses, seemingly short of breath. She opens her mouth to continue until we hear a commotion in another room. “That sounded like Annika,” she says and grabs my hand.

We navigate through the apartment and find Reid behind Annika. Reid is trying to reach around her to get to a tall guy with platinum-blond hair who is rubbing his jaw.

“Hey, what’s the trouble?” I say, rolling up my sleeves. Whatever’s got Reid riled up must be serious. Reid is as soft as a soft teddy bear. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. I don’t know what this guy did, but he probably deserved it.

“I have no idea,” the guy says, pointing to Reid. “This dick came up to me and punched me in the face.”

“What the fuck did you do to deserve that?” I say to him, fists clenching.

“Hey, take it easy, who the fuck are you people?” He puts his hands up defensively.

“Tyler, oh my gosh, not you too—back off. People are staring.” Annika grabs my sleeve surprisingly hard and yanks me back a step.

“Don’t act like a coward, Trey. You know what you’ve done and deserve way more than the sucker punch I got in,” Reid says, spitting in the guy’s direction. My eyes bulge out because I’ve never seen Reid so hostile. Trey lunges at Reid, but I catch his arm before he makes complete impact with Reid’s jaw and push him back until he hits the wall. I’m nearly the same height as him. He can pick on someone his own size.

“Hey, let me go!” he shouts, trying to push off of me. “Someone, call the cops.”

I release him, and he goes to lunge at me, but I stay still, catching his bluff. He scoffs and turns away, not before flipping off all of us individually.

He looks at Reid last and says, “She liked it,” before walking off, and Reid looks like he’s about to rip this guy to shreds. I grab Reid and forcefully push him toward the front door, assuming the girls are following behind me.

“Let me go, Tyler. He hurt Anni. He needs to pay,” Reid says once we are outside the building.

“He hurt you? In there?” I whip around to look at Annika and then back to the building entrance, ready to storm back inside.

“No! No.” She stands in front of me and pushes me back.