Page 43 of Falling Again

“Chloe,” I hear Annika whisper. She’s lying on the trundle mattress below me. When I got my own room, I got this bed and Anni got a double bed. It ended up being perfect because we’d still have slumber parties in each other’s rooms. For a split second, I thought Tyler and I would have to bunk. It would be the first time just the two of us would be alone in a room since the night before we left. Traces of his lips hovering on mine. Wishing they’d connect. A part of me wishes I said, to hell with my relationship trauma and climbed on top of him. And I can’t imagine how I’d be able to restrain if we were sleeping inches from each other but then Eddie told Reid and Tyler that they’d be staying in Anni’s old room and she and I would share my room. Well, that settled that.

“Yeah?” I whisper back.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.”

“I don’t believe you.” She pauses, maybe waiting for me to respond. When I don’t, she continues, “We haven’t talked about what happened with you and Tyler. And I know it’s hard for you being back in Ojai—it’s always hard.”

“I don’t know what to say, Anni.”

“You can tell me anything. You always can.”

“I know that, but I don’t know if I even know what I need. I feel lost. Being here has only made me feel more confused, especially when Tyler said it reminded him of Auburn Hills. Am I really doing anything in my life to be proud of, or did I end up in the same place I started?”

“You started volunteering! You have the biggest smile every time you come home from helping at the shelter. I’m quite proud of you, if it matters.”

“It does, and I do love helping the animals. I don’t know, I can’t really form the words. I feel like I’m trying so many things but nothing sticks. It’s not like you. Nothing gives me a spark.”

“Oh, Chloe, I didn’t know you were thinking all of this.”

“You’re not supposed to.”

“I’m your best friend. Of course I am.”

“We are moving apart. Which is okay—you and Reid are starting a life. He should be your best friend.”

Annika is quiet for a moment, then I hear her softly say, “You’ll always be my first best friend. I don’t want to move apart. Promise you’ll keep me in the loop. No matter how crazy you think you sound. You shouldn’t have these thoughts swirling around your head alone.”

I release a breath. “I promise.”

“Hey, Anni?” I ask, changing the subject, feeling too vulnerable in my old room “Do you remember when we went on that bowling date in high school?”

“Of course—it was torture,” she says, which makes me snort.

“Please. You liked Nico. He liked you. Why didn’t you do anything about it?” I ask.

“Why are you bringing this up?”

“Being here in Ojai has me nostalgic. I can’t help but reminisce.”

She exhales. “I guess I was always delusionally hoping Reid would move back, and I didn’t want to be in a relationship when he did. I wanted to be available to try again. Sounds so silly now to admit that. Teenage fantasies I guess.”

I smile to myself at her confession, even if I’ve always known the truth. “Tyler was right, your heart did melt,” I say and she bats me softly with a pillow.

“Ugh, I forgot to grab water.”

“I’ll go get it. I have to use the bathroom anyway.”

“Thanks, Chlo,” Annika says as she snuggles into the comforter. I get up and leap over her mattress, tiptoeing downstairs to the kitchen. I nearly scream when I see a dark figure sat at the counter chair, holding something in their hands.

“Tyler?” I whisper yell. The figure turns around, and as my eyes adjust, the moonlight reflects off his glasses and I see that his wavy hair is a bit disheveled. He’s wearing a t-shirt and boxers. Thankfully, it’s dark and he can’t see my eyes wandering. “What are you doing down here?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Reid snores. I’m contemplating sleeping on the couch down here.”

“Reid snores!”

“I guess he’s always stayed at the cottage if he stayed over my house. I never had the honor of hearing his sounds of sleep.”