Page 32 of Falling Again

“Yeah, someone started singing and then got embarrassed and walked off, somber stuff. But the music was still playing, so I jumped up to the mic and took it over. I didn’t even know the words! But that’s the fun thing about it,” he explains. “I’m going to get you two some IPAs.” He knocks on the table and heads to the bar, the crowd parting for his large size.

“Hey, it would be fun if we picked a song for each other,” I say, remembering the plan for the evening. Miles looks up from the book with a horrified look on his face.

“Fun! That sounds exactly the opposite of what it would be,” he retorts.

“Come on, live a little.”

“Who am I even talking to right now? Mr. Routine. You eat the same breakfast every day.”

“Well, maybe I’m inspired by Griff’s spontaneity,” I say. Miles shifts in his seat a bit, pondering the thought as if it’s life or death.

“Fine, but go easy on me.”

“I could ask the same of you,” I say, taking the book and flipping to the song that Alyssa asked me to have him sing.

We both scribble out the songs without the other knowing, putting the other person’s name on top and handing the song to the DJ. Griff comes back with our drinks, and we sit back, singing along with the terrible voices until our names are called.

A girl singing Spice Girls is about to finish, and I see my name flash on the monitors with the header “Up Next” above it, along with the song Miles chose for me: “No Scrubs” by TLC. I look over to him, and he bursts into laughter.

“I heard you singing this while you were in the shower. I had to, dude.” I can feel my face flare up in red, but soon enough, it’s my turn to take the mic.

“You gotta stop listening to me singing in private—it’s creepy,” I say, standing up and pushing his shoulder playfully.

I walk up and stand at the small stage in front of the crowded room while the intro starts, and the crowd starts whooping. I take a breath and sing the beginning line, trying to loosen it up. Just as I hit the bridge, I hear two voices join in harmony, singing the “No” parts, and I look over to see both Griff and Miles with mics. They come on stage behind me, and we sing the chorus together. The crowd is going crazy. We alternate singing the parts as if we are TLC, and by the end of it, I feel like I haven’t laughed this hard in ages. We exit the stage to high fives from the crowd, and I realize Miles is up right after me, and the song I chose for him also happens to be a duo.

The beginning of “You’re the One That I Want” plays, and Miles looks over at me with a red face and mild confusion. But knowing him, he never backs out of an agreement and immediately gets into his best Grease Lightning persona and starts belting out the beginning of the song. I can see that he is concerned that I chose this song for him, and I can barely contain my laughter at him thinking I’m joining him in singing Olivia Newton-John’s part.

I hold the mic out, and Alyssa grabs it, seamlessly continuing the song. Alyssa starts strutting toward the stage wearing a black jumpsuit and singing to him. He looks like he’s about to collapse, but as she approaches and the chorus starts, he snaps out of it and sings along with her. It is the biggest thrill to see a friend you care so much for experiencing a huge life moment right before your eyes. I look over to Griff, and he’s got his sunglasses on, occasionally wiping his cheeks.

Miles and Alyssa continue the song, singing to each other. They both have huge smiles and, toward the end, are holding hands, dancing together as they sing the “Oohs.” The song ends, and they stand still, looking at each other.

“Kiss her!” I hear Griff grumble, then he lets out a choked laugh, pushing his sunglasses up and rubbing his eyes. Miles tenderly grabs Alyssa’s face and kisses her, and the room erupts into cheers.

It feels overwhelming to be in this space, not because of the number of people but because of the consuming feeling that this part of my life is so fragile. I may not experience moments like these ever again—moments of new, fresh, young love. I suddenly want to absorb everything around me. Miles and Alyssa come back to the table, but Miles says they’re going for a walk. Griff and I nod and motion them to get out of here. We don’t stay too much longer afterward. A few more people sing, and Griff’s selection, “Dancing Queen,” by ABBA, gets the entire bar singing. The happiness is infectious, so I tamp down the nostalgia I feel for a time I’m currently living in. How I’ll miss it before it’s even over. Instead, I try to enjoy the walk back to my apartment, knowing these are the best years of my life.

THIRTEEN

CHLOE

NOW

The back corner booth of O’Malley’s Pub carries a lot of memories. This is where Annika and I were sitting when we had our first encounter with Reid and Tyler. When Tyler walked in, my eyes flew to him before I knew who he was. Annika was sitting next to me, nervously fidgeting, and I was trying to steal glances at the handsome, tall redhead who I was instantly drawn to. He was confident, but in a different way than I hadn’t seen with other guys. Guys like my Dane, college boyfriend, for example, I’d been drawn to him because of his “I don’t pay attention to anyone except people I choose” vibe. Tyler couldn’t help but wave and nod to everyone in the bar. The patrons all seemed to know him. It wasn’t until I saw Reid reveal himself behind Ty that I realized who he was. Then he pointed to Annika and me, and my stomach suspiciously flipped.

Now, nearly every Friday, my stomach flips in the same way as the boys come sauntering in and make a beeline toward our booth. Despite Tyler’s last encounter with the town, he still greets everyone with a smile; gives a fist bump to the scary bartender, Clint; and offers a tight smile to a server he once said he went to high school with. At first, I never wanted to order at the bar, because Clint has a mean-looking scar that runs from his left eye to his jaw. Then he walked into the bookstore I work at with his granddaughter, he recognized me, and I helped them pick out some books. Turns out, he’s a sweetheart and the scar is from an unfortunate go-kart accident.

I’m taking a big bite of nachos that Annika and I already ordered as Reid and Tyler slide into the booth parallel to us. Tyler sits across from me and gives me a smile and a wink. I can feel my stomach somersaulting and cheeks heating. For the first time in my life, I can put my guard down and let someone get to know me, including all the weird and anxious parts of myself. He sends me photos of new recipes he is trying to cook from his mom’s handwritten cookbook, and I send him pictures of paintings I’m working on. We go on hikes, both as a group of friends and just the two of us. I’m letting him in, little by little, into my heart, but something deep down is pulling me back. Like my soul isn’t ready to take the leap.

“So—” Annika clears her throat and continues, “Reid and I have some news to share with you two.”

I look over at her, a smile beaming from my face.

“Hey, no fair, Chloe already knows!” Tyler points at me.

“Nuh uh!” I toss a chip in his direction and he tries to catch it with his mouth.

“You are bouncing up and down! You’re such a bad liar.” Tyler’s grin splits across his face. He laughs and looks between Reid and Annika. “You both seriously couldn’t keep the news to yourself.”

Both mine and Annika’s grins drop. “Wait, you know too?”