Page 14 of Falling Again

“Where did you learn that countdown?”

Chloe rests her head on my back, sighing, “It’s not easy to talk about, but my last breakup, was…really tough. Before we moved here, I saw a therapist who helped me. She taught me the grounding technique.”

I squeeze her hand, “Thank you, Chlo. I’m happy you found me.”

“I’m happy we found each other.” She says still bear hugging me from behind. I’m glad she can’t see my face. I have a flood of emotions running through me.

I’m restraining myself from finding the jerk who ever hurt her so much that she needed therapy to recover. Chloe deserves the world, and I want to give it to her. I take another deep breath.

I lied to Reid earlier. This isn’t just a crush, and that’s what worries me. I already have so few people in my life I care about, and I don’t want to set myself up to lose her, too.

SIX

CHLOE

THEN

“Annika! Chloe! Time for school, wake up!” I hear Mia Gomes, Annika’s mom, call from the stairwell leading to the kitchen. I grab the comforter, already twisted around me, and pull it closer, over my head. I am not ready to get up. It’s only Thursday, so I have to deal with two more days of the week at the worst place ever: high school. I wish Mia would give in to my begging and homeschool us.

I can feel Annika’s foot as she finds a spot on the mattress to hop over to get out of bed. Annika’s bed has a mattress that pulls out from the bottom. Her parents replaced her bed with this one when we were in middle school, as I spent more time at their house than at my own. Living in my own house is not unbearable; it just feels empty. My childhood home feels like a storage closet for all my stuff rather than where I live. I’ve been at the Gomeses’ every day since last Friday.

Shortly after my dad left, Annika’s parents told me that I was always welcome in their home for as long as I needed, and I’ve taken them at their word. Sometimes I do feel like a stray cat that they let inside their house and allow to sleep on the floor of their daughter’s room. But even that feels more welcoming than being around my own mom. We rarely see each other. If I’m home, I am in my room painting. If my mom isn’t working, she’s in her room watching TV. If we pass each other, we give strained smiles like strangers passing on the street. I’m not sure if I love my mom. I feel like I should, and the fact that I don’t makes me feel so guilty.

“Chloe, wake up,” Annika says, and I feel her nudge me. I pull the cover away from my face and see Annika standing over me, poking my side with her foot, covered in the black-and-white checkered socks that I gave her for Christmas. Annika had a crush on an F1 racer last year, and I got her racing-themed presents as a joke.

“I am awake. Can we play hooky today?” I say as Annika grabs the end of my comforter and yanks it off me.

“The twins and I ask my mom that every other week—she never agrees.” Annika’s twin brothers, Wes and Joey, are in middle school, the same one Annika and I attended. It’s about ten minutes from the high school, so we usually drop them off first. Annika’s parents bought her a used Honda Civic for her sixteenth birthday, so she has been our designated driver ever since. Last Saturday afternoon, Annika and I were in her room making bracelets when Joey came in and exclaimed that he wanted candy. But not just any candy.

“Mentos?” Annika questioned him. “What are you, seventy?’

“Maybe I am!” he retorted. “You don’t know what old soul they might’ve stuck me with. And this grandpa wants fruity-flavored Mentos,” Joey said, hooking his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans and pulling them up like suspenders.

Annika rolled her eyes at Joey while I giggled. I swear, Joey learned to be dramatic from Annika. They look the most alike, too, with their fair skin and dark features.

“Why can’t Dad take you to get Mentos?” she asked as she kept working on her bracelet.

“He is watching the Padres game. And mom said it’s good driving practice for you.” Joey crossed his arms, squinting at her. When Annika didn’t budge, he changed his tactics, unfolding his arms.

“Please, Anni, please, please, please. I swear I won’t barge in your room for a week.”

“A month.”

“Two weeks.”

“Deal, meet me at the foyer in five minutes.”

Joey jumped with delight and ran out. “Wes, get your shoes on! Anni is taking us on a candy spree.”

“Whoa! Not what I agreed to!” Annika got up, grabbed her keys, and the four of us went to the nearest convenience store, where I treated us all to candy. Annika’s dad, Eddie, slipped me a twenty-dollar bill on the way out. It’s moments like that where I’m reminded how different my family is from Annika’s. The sheer amount of them is a harsh contrast to my own. For as long as I can remember, I wanted a sibling. If so, it meant I wasn’t going through things alone. I wonder how some events growing up would be if I had a built-in friend by my side. I don’t know if I’d ever admit to Annika how envious I am of her relationship with her parents. I don’t know if she will ever realize how good she has it.

As we trot downstairs, backpacks slung over our shoulders, Joey and Wes are already seated at the kitchen table. Wes looks up at us, smiling, while Joey sits scowling in his chair.

“What’s got you in a mood today?” I ask Joey, who gives me the side-eye.

“He’s hungry,” Wes answers for him. He has golden-brown hair and olive skin, like his dad. It’s hard to believe Wes and Joey are twins until they start showing similar mannerisms or talking for one another.

Joey looks over at Wes, raising his left eyebrow.