Page 54 of Already Falling

Annika spins to look at me, and we both start cracking up.

The kitten suddenly jumps off Chloe’s lap and starts dashing around the living room.

“She looks like a dandelion flying around in the wind,” I say as the kitten tumbles through the coffee table and twists between our legs.

Chloe looks up at me.“She does! I’m going to call her Dandelion, Dandy for short.”

This weekend, Annika has a big photo shoot out in the woods. She is taking photos of a couple who are celebrating their fiftieth anniversary. Her studio scouts the location, and she works with the set designers to plan the shoot. She asked the friend group to tag along, so naturally, we did.

As we pull up, all piled into Tyler’s SUV, our casual chit-chat stops. We are speechless about how they’ve transformed the area. The location is a popular hiking spot, an easy twisting path through the redwoods, surrounded by ferns and wildflowers. I remember hiking here with Tyler last spring, but they’ve transformed the park into a fairy meadow. They have a spot set up just off the entrance and textured fabric drapes from the branches mixed with twinkling lights.

The couple both are wearing wildflower crowns and a matching off-white suit and dress. I realize this was the couple that walked in that first day I went to the studio to see Annika. Crazy to think how surreal it felt to see her again after all these years, and just a month later, we are building a friendship again. It feels different this time. I can picture us staying close friends for years.

“Reid! Chloe! Tyler!” Annika chants off and appears from behind a redwood tree.

Annika quickly shuffles over to us as we get out of Tyler’s SUV, which is filled with cat hair now because Chloe refuses to leave Dandy at home. She spent the entire trek to the photoshoot telling us about how Dandy learned to climb their new cat tree.

“Hey, this place looks incredible! I feel like I’m in a Wes Anderson movie,” Tyler says.

“You wish you were in a Wes Anderson movie,” Chloe fires off a reply.

The two of them have a unique banter. They are always quick to say a snarky reply, which I know Tyler enjoys. With Chloe, on the other hand, I can’t tell if she despises Tyler or also enjoys their banter. She always scrunches up her face in her retorts.

I greet Annika with a fist bump that’s become our special handshake.

“Anni, this is so magical. Dandy likes it too.” Chloe lifts the flap from the sling she has wrapped around her torso where Dandy is curled up.

I must say, it is a pretty well-behaved cat. Most of the time, no one realizes she even has a cat with her.

“Thanks, guys…” Annika's smile lights up her whole face, and she turns to the set and then back to us. “It is so fun. I didn’t realize work could be enjoyable.”

“Seriously, Anni, you were always meant to do this. You are capturing those precious moments in life. I can’t wait to see you in action today.” Chloe looks like she’s about to start crying.

“Okay, sappy hour is over. I can’t be crying into my viewfinder,” Annika replies, moving her arms to the side as if to wave off the emotional sentiments out of the air. “There’s a bench a few yards off to the side if you guys want to set up there. We are about to start soon, and the shoot should last about an hour, depending on how many poses they want to do.”

The three of us take a spot on the bench Annika pointed to. We all sit quietly, watching Annika do her thing. Chloe is right. Annika should’ve always done this. I’m sure she wishes she had started this sooner. I don’t know the whole story, but I know she started it as an outlet recommended by her therapist. We aren’t really at the point of our friendship to unpack any trauma we’ve experienced in the years since we last left off. And we haven’t addressed the fact that we are probably the cause of some of each other’s trauma, at least for me.

Annika gently coaches the Hutchins around the redwoods into romantic-looking poses. At one point, they are looking into each other’s eyes between two giant redwoods with lights and fabric draped around them. Annika is saying things like “gorgeous” and “absolutely radiant” to them, which makes them relax and smile more naturally. The studio assistants have giant windscreens and are flapping from the side, which makes the branches and fabric ruffle around the couple. I can feel the love they share for each other radiating.

Mr. Hutchins brushes a lock of his wife’s hair out of her face and presses a kiss to her forehead. “Yes, pretend I’m not here,” Annika says as the couple leans into each other, softly swaying along with the branches. As they pull apart, I have a clear view of Mr. Hutchins’ look into his wife’s eyes. His eyes are glassy, and his facial expression is something I can’t put into words. I’ve seen it on my dad’s face when he looks at Pam. I’ve seen it on my Uncle Marty’s face when he looks at a pastrami sandwich. I don’t know if I’ve ever had that look on my face. But I want it. I want that feeling.

Like a magnet, my magnet, my eyes get pulled over to Annika. She has her hair pulled back in a headband today that makes her straight hair flip toward the back. She looks up from her camera and over to meet my gaze. We stay staring at each other for a couple of seconds before she ducks back behind her viewfinder. I exhale. We tried this song and dance already. It didn’t work.

She wraps up the shoot, and the four of us go to a drive-up burger joint for a late lunch. Chloe and Annika are talking about how they want to change the style of decor in their living room from minimal to boho, and Tyler mentions a few flea markets in the area, so we plan to visit some next weekend. I chime in here and there, but I’m mostly distracted by the afternoon. The emotion of the photo shoot affected me more than I realized, and I am starting to wonder if I’ll ever find my person. When do you even know? Have I already passed them at a grocery store, or are they my barista? I have no idea. Do I just go around smiling at every person in the entire world until I feel sparks and flutters in my stomach?

“Hey, Parker?” Annika snaps two fingers in front of my face, and I turn to her. Flutter. “You’re drifting off into your fantasy land again. Come back to earth and give me some of your fries.”

“What happened to your fries?” I shake my head and slide my tray over to her.

“I got sweet potatoes, and I want to try the crinkle-cut ones.” She pulls out a fry and dips it in ketchup. “What were you thinking about, anyway?”

Hmm, how truthful should I be? Chloe is preoccupied with Dandy, walking her around in the sling and humming some song. Tyler is leaning with his back on the table, scrolling on his phone.

“I was just thinking about the Hutchins. Their love is admirable. Tyler was right. It felt like I was watching a movie.” Feeling vulnerable, I stand up from the wooden bench, brushing off invisible crumbs from my shirt.

“Reid is such a hopeless romantic,” Tyler chimes in, turning toward us. Annika stands up, too, collecting our plates and tossing the wrappers in the trash. She sets the trays on top of the bin.

“That is not true,” I counter.