Page 43 of Already Falling

“Okay, thank you so much. I have a lot to think about.”

I hang up and sit on my bed. Am I moving to Oregon? My mom would know what to do. She answers after one ring. I fill her in on the entire situation. She knows I’ve been applying for jobs, so that doesn’t come as a shocker. She’s so excited that I got offered a job as a photographer until I drop the bomb that it’s in a different state. She curses a string of profanities, but I explain the interview process and how this job seems tailor-made for me. How I haven’t been excited about anything like this in years. I hear my mom’s voice tremble a bit as she responds to me.

She never cries. She takes a deep breath and says I need to promise to come up and visit before I move. I start tearing up. I know I’m an adult and don’t need my parent’s permission, but having their support means so much. I thought I’d be letting them down. Everything I’ve done in my childhood and through college, even after, has been for them. I just want them to be proud of me. They never were able to go to college themselves, and I felt like I’d be throwing it all away going this route. I was worried they’d be angry. But for the first time in my life, this feels like something I need to do for myself.

“Annika, I know this is a twist, but you know what I always say, everything happens for a reason. We just want you to be happy, Anni. Go be happy,” my mom says just before we hang up.

I guess I’m moving to Oregon. Now I need to break the news to Chloe.

TWENTY-THREE

ANNIKA

It’s been three days since I accepted the job, and yet I haven’t mentioned it to Chloe. I suppose you could say I’m avoiding the meltdown that will surely occur. She was distraught when I brought up the idea of moving to a different apartment in the same neighborhood. I can’t even imagine how she’ll react when I tell her I’m moving to a different state. A part of me is so sad about it and wonders if she would want to move with me. But I know that would never be the case since she is with Dane.

I’m actually moving, so I need to tell her. I put a deposit down on a two-bedroom apartment that’s a block away from downtown and exactly a seven-minute walk to the photo studio. I am starting to love small towns already. That and my rent is the same as the share I pay now. I’m so excited, but it’s bittersweet. Chloe has always been by my side, almost my entire life. It feels like I’m about to break up with her.

I have a plan. I’ll take her out to her favorite restaurant. Which is maybe a bad idea because then she’s going to relate it to negative memories. Okay, maybe I’ll take her to my favorite restaurant instead. We can have a girls' night, just the two of us. We can have a nice meal, and then I’ll tell her gently that I’m moving. I have already worked out that she can come to visit me. There are some flights from San Diego to a few nearby cities. Or I can drive up to Portland when she wants to visit. I’m willing to make it work to still see her. I can’t survive without her in my life, either.

Milo's Kitchen is my favorite place to visit when I’m feeling a good treat-yourself moment. It’s Greek fusion, and the atmosphere is fancy but cozy. I’ve never felt out of place here, and the staff is always so nice. The setup feels like you are sitting on a balcony in a hillside Greek villa, overlooking the crystal blue waters surrounded by blooming florals and crisp white architecture. A mixture of wicker chairs with plush booths and marble tables with dim lights above keeps everyone cozy while they eat their falafel burgers and Greek tacos. However, at this moment, I find myself grasping for comfort at how startled my best friend is at the news I just dropped on her.

“You’re moving? When? Why? How? Why? When?” Chloe’s eyes bug out of her head as she sits across from me at the table.

Thankfully, the hostess sat us in a corner booth so we can have a bit of privacy. I waited until after we ate our main course to minimize the hangry factor. But, of course, she’s still thrown off track.

“I know this is a shock, but the opportunity is great. I need to take a chance.”

“What about me? What about us? You’re going to break up this friendship we have?”

“No, not at all. We can still video chat every day. You can visit me. I’ll come to visit you. It will be okay. Chloe…I am so unhappy here.”

This strikes a chord. Her body language changes from angry and defensive to sympathetic. As if she didn’t even realize how unhappy I am.

“You’ve been hanging out mostly with Dane anyway. I think you two should consider taking your relationship to the next step. We both need to move forward.”

“I didn’t know you were unhappy.” I knew she was going to be hung up on that.

“Like I said, you’ve been hanging out with Dane, which is fine, but we haven’t had much time to talk about our lives. This is the first time you and I have hung out in what, two months?” I see her eyes start to glass over, which makes my eyes start to water. I don’t want us to cry in the middle of Milo's Kitchen. “I don’t want you to be upset, but this is something I need to do for myself.”

She starts nodding a lot and dabs a tissue at the corner of her eyes. “I get it. I’m sorry for not being there for you. I just don’t want you to punish me by moving.”

“Oh my god, Chloe, I’m not punishing you! I just said I needed to do this for me. This is an entirely selfish decision. I’m sorry I didn’t try pushing you more to hang out and talk, and I’m sorry I’m moving. I’m sad not to spend literally every day with you. I don’t even want to think about what that looks like.”

Our waiter puts down our dessert, and we eat our baklava squares in silence. Each of us waits until the other breaks the silence.

“I’m renting a two-bedroom. You can visit any time and stay as long as you want.” That perks her up a bit, and she looks up at me, grinning.

“I’m actually excited for small-town Annika. You always got so sunburnt living down here anyway. Maybe Oregon will be perfect for you.”

“I don’t really care if it is, but I’m excited to try something new.”

I fill her in on all the details. From my nightmares at work to the interview process and looking for apartments over the Internet. She’s still in shock that she didn’t notice any of this, but I bring up that she was always with Dane. She wasn’t around. My mom helped me a lot with apartment hunting. I’d send her listings, and my dad was on the line when I called landlords. I still cannot get over the support they are showing me. I almost start crying again just thinking about it.

“Maybe it is time for Dane and I to take the next step. I could propose that he move in when you move out.” She gives me a huge sad face at that. “Actually, I just remembered, I forgot my work keys at Dane’s apartment. Can we swing by on the way home, and we can tell him your news?”

I doubt he’ll care, but I don’t protest. I’ll be going along with whatever Chloe wants to do for the next three weeks.

Dane lives above a pizza place in Little Italy. I’ve only been here one time before tonight. It was the second time Dane and Chloe broke up and I picked her up, so not the best memories tied to this studio apartment. We can see his lights are on, so Chloe walks up the stairs and goes to let herself in. She has a key to his apartment, which makes me wonder if she gave him a key to our apartment. Thankfully, not something I’ll have to worry about for much longer. I decided to hang out in the car, waiting for her. I’m not too interested in going up and told Chloe I was feeling tired. We can tell Dane the news tomorrow or maybe never. I bet he won’t even realize I moved.