Page 29 of Already Falling

“Is that your grandpa’s sweater?” She looks up and reaches over and touches my arm, lingering on my thrifted sweater. My arm tingles under her touch.

“He had great style, if I do say so myself. Goes great with my crusty Converse.”

She turns to say goodbye to Chloe, and we head out toward the amphitheater that is showing the movie. We are quiet most of the walk over. I ask her how her classes are going, and she asks about mine. She doesn’t seem too excited to talk about her courses. I notice that she tries to change the subject whenever I ask her another question about her major or classwork. I get the feeling she isn’t enjoying it. I remember she did the same thing when I mentioned it on our beach date. I don’t want to start our date on a sour note, so I change it and talk about my classwork.

We get to the amphitheater, and Annika insists on buying us snacks since I got lunch on the first date. I appreciate that she is thoughtful about it. Other girls I’ve dated expected me to shell out every food and ticket for anything we went to.

Annika leads us to a spot near the middle, so we have a central view of the screen. The AV-Club that set this up installed a giant screen that a projector will hit. It’s already getting dark, so we should be able to see it easily. Annika puts the popcorn in between us at our feet and hands me my candy of choice, Swedish Fish, while she starts munching on Reese’s Pieces. She seems a little off ever since we sat down, just making small talk and joking around, but she doesn’t seem as comfortable as she was on the beach. The movie is going to start soon so we won’t be able to talk as much and I want to get to know her more.

“So, is Reese’s your favorite candy?” Stupid question Reid.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I love anything peanut butter and chocolate together.”

Her shoulders are turned straight toward the screen while I am leaning toward her. I want to shake her and ask what is going on in her head. It’s as if we didn’t share a kiss a few days ago. Have I been overthinking her feelings toward me?

“You smell really nice, like flowers in the fall,” I say, leaning into her. She turns her head and looks me in the eyes.

“Are you for real?” she says with a straight face, and I’m not sure if she is offended by my comment until her lips spread into a wide smile.

“I figure that I think of these things in my head. Why not say it out loud and tell you exactly what I’m thinking? I thought you’d like to know. I’m really happy you said yes again, by the way.” I scooch closer so our shoulders and knees are touching.

She glances down at them and then rests her head on my right shoulder. I am a ball of nerves. I reach around and put my right arm on her side, holding her close. My hand resting where her small tattoo is beneath her shirt. She reaches in to eat popcorn while resting on me still.

“Hey, can I get some of that?”

She giggles and, without moving her head, sticks her arm up, guessing where my mouth is and feeding me a piece of popcorn. I turn my head and give the top of her head a little kiss. She squeezes in closer and puts her left hand on my leg. We watch the movie cuddled close, taking things slow, just as I hoped we would.

I can’t believe I’ve never seen Mean Girls. It is kind of the best movie I’ve ever seen. The visual, the iconic lines, maybe four and a half stars for me. I’m definitely going to see if I can find a shirt that says the line Gretchen Wieners delivers at the end.

We were quiet most of the movie, but occasionally I’d put my hand on her knee or bump her shoulder during a funny part. She would poke me whenever I’d try to whisper something in her ear.

As we walk back to her dorm, I link our hands together, gently swinging them and humming a song from the movie. I could get used to this. Having someone like Annika to spend my Friday nights with. I am quite obsessed with her and her raspy chuckle. The way she squints at every dumb joke I make and then makes one back at me. The way she doesn’t shy away from my affection towards her and yet takes it slow with me. I don’t mind it because I want to savor these early moments of our relationship. When we are years into our relationship, we’ll look back at this moment, walking her back to her dorm room from the movie. Years from now? Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.

We get back to her dorm room, and we stand at her door and look at each other. She doesn’t race to go inside, and I don’t rush her. I am enjoying the view. I take her hand and running my lips along her knuckles and kissing the top of her hand, which makes her eyes roll.

“You are too much, Parker.”

I laugh and give her hand back. “I really loved Mean Girls, probably the best movie I’ve seen so far this year.”

“I knew you’d like it. It’s a classic.” She smiles, and her dark eyes twinkle up at me.

I take that as an invitation and reach for her waist, pulling her into an embrace. She stiffens at first, but after a beat, she wraps her arms around my back, pressing them against my shoulder blades. I nuzzle my face in her hair and breathe in her scent. I should probably stop smelling her so much, but she smells too good. I give her a kiss on the side of her head and on her cheek before I separate from her. I’m not sure why I’m nervous about kissing her again, but I am. I don’t want to scare her off.

“Next time, I’ll take you to dinner at an actual restaurant with a table. This is the second date where we were eating from our laps.” I say to her.

She gives me a tight lip smirk, nods, and says, “All right, sounds good.”

I’m not sure what to do next, so I put my hand up to give her a high-five. “Okay, I’ll text you later! Have a good night.”

She squints and gives me the worst high-five back, then turns to her dorm door and goes inside. I just stare at the doorknob. Did I just high-five her?

I rub my neck and replay the entire date in my head. She’s the same mysterious and witty girl I’ve always known. I want to break open that shell she keeps around herself.

THIRTEEN

ANNIKA

As soon as I get behind the front door to my dorm, I press my back against it and release the anxiety that’s been inside me the whole time with a big exhale. The entire date, I felt the struggle of wanting to get closer to Reid but also struggling with the definition of casual. I’m seriously going to scream if I hear Chloe say that word to me again. I take a deep breath in again and close my eyes. Reid was a dream. He is a dream. He wore this chunky thrifted sweater that was soft whenever I’d rub against his shoulder. He smelled like rainy woods and palo santo. His green marble eyes twinkled every time they looked at me. I wanted to sit on his lap and make out with him the entire movie. But Chloe’s voice in my head said to keep things light.