Page 22 of Already Falling

“An oat chai latte with a shot of espresso and one pump of caramel syrup,” I list off with no hesitation. It’s my favorite drink, so why change something I already like?

“Wow, you know exactly what you want,” says Reid. I wish I could treat my life like my coffee order.

“What about you Reid?”

“Back on a first-name basis already?” He pumps his arm in victory, which I shake my head at. “I get a cold brew with whipped cream on top.”

“Whipped cream?”

“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it.”

We quietly wait for our drinks and then wander over to a table at the corner of the coffee shop. As much as I’d like to say our banter picked up where we left off as kids, we’ve always been a bit awkward and shy around each other. At least I was, always in fear my crush would be discovered.

Reid breaks the silence. “Can I ask you something? If you don’t feel comfortable answering, that’s cool.”

“Sure, go ahead, ask away.”

“Why did you use me as a human shield against that frat bro? I mean, it’s not like I didn’t enjoy seeing the defeat on his face, but I’ve just been curious about that.”

I take a deep breath.

“Wow, that bad, huh?” Reid jokes.

I smile. “I had a bad experience the first time I went to a frat party there. Trey Roberts, or the yeti as I call him, took me to his room and tried to hook up with me, but I pushed him away. I was in there for like five minutes,” I say, trying to brush off the subject.

Reid’s face scrunches up. “That’s really shitty.”

“It was nothing, really.”

“It doesn’t really sound like nothing. Plus, you used a strange guy to save you from interacting with him.”

“You’re not a stranger.”

“Well, not anymore, I guess. If he ever tries to come on to you again, you call me.” Chills trail down my back as Reid’s tone turns protective.

“Are you going to be my knight in dirty Converse again?” I try to flash my most damsel-in-distress look his way.

He laughs and says, “I never realized how much I’ve missed you. How do you like San Diego so far?” Did he say he missed me?

“It’s too hot here. I feel like I’m melting as soon as I step outside. But I do love the proximity to the ocean.”

“Right, right, it’s where you do some of your best thinking.” I blush at him, remembering our late-night text exchange.

“Yeah, I’d say the ocean is my equivalent to a confessional. I go when I just need a breather, some time to think.”

“You’re only eighteen. What are you carrying that’s so heavy?”

I let out another sigh because he points out something I keep trying to remind myself. I’m so young, so why does it feel like I’m putting pressure on my life to be perfect? I never know which is the right path to go, and I’m waiting for the day it will suddenly click.

Instead, I say, “School is stressing me out right now. I just hope I made the right decision with my major.”

“You can always switch. What other majors are you thinking of?”

“That’s just it. I have no clue. Nothing really is making me excited. I feel like this is all just something I have to do.” Well, I’ve officially killed the mood. Reid’s eyes scan the table then he grabs his coffee, lifting it to his mouth and meeting my eyes before taking a sip. I swallow my breath.

“If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?” Reid asks, changing the topic and saving me from downward spiraling.

“I think it would be cool to backpack through Europe, try different foods, and hear all the different languages. It would be a fun adventure, and I feel like I wouldn’t be tied to anything. I could just roam.”