Page 17 of Already Falling

He tells me all the places he went after he left Ojai. From Ojai, he and his dad moved to Colorado, to Florida, and then to Northern California. I can’t help but imagine how exhausting that all sounds to move so many times before graduating high school.

When he was a senior in high school, he reconnected with Isaac online and found out they both got accepted to UCSD. He studies biology and wants to work as a physical therapist one day. He tells me how that’s what his uncle does and will intern during summers at the wellness center he runs, so it was a no-brainer. It sounds like he’s pursuing a degree in something he actually wants to do in life. I wonder what that feels like.

I feel brave enough to admit something to him after making him lose a point because a guy knocked into the table, making Reid miss the shot, which means I finally win a game. I pump up my fists in victory.

I pause before starting a new game, looking at him. “Promise you won’t laugh.”

“I can never promise you that,” he says with a devilish grin.

I squint my eyes and proceed reluctantly, not sure what has gotten into me to admit this. “It’s just funny to run into you because I never thought I’d ever see you again, and I had a little crush on you in middle school.”

I try to say it casually, intentionally leaving out the fact that the crush actually started in fourth grade, resulting in a three-year-long infatuation.

His whole face curls up in a smile, and he says something that would make my seventh-grade self collapse on the floor.

“Well, maybe the feeling was mutual.”

I finally look him in the eyes and feel sick to my stomach from the constant flutters.

I look away and feel my cheeks get hot, preparing to serve to start the next game until Reid interrupts.

“Let’s make this next round a bit more interesting,” he says with a wicked smile. “If I win, you go on a date with me.”

My legs almost give out, but I pretend I’m cool as a cucumber and ponder his request as I put my finger on my chin like I’m thinking hard about his question.

“And what do I get if I win?”

“Whatever you want.” All I’ve ever wanted is you. Did I really just say that in my head? Or did I say that out loud? Oh god, he’s staring at me.

“Okay, if I win, you give me your sunglasses.” I noticed his pair of high-end aviators in his pocket earlier when I was scanning his body.

He gives me that wicked smirk again and says, “Deal.”

EIGHT

REID

I didn’t even want to come to this party. I told Isaac it wasn’t my thing, frat parties. People stacked on top of each other, drinking too much, music too loud, and not enough food. I know I sound like a forty-five-year-old dad, but it just isn’t something I look forward to, which is why I didn’t join a fraternity in the first place. I am happy with my quiet freshman dorm room, with my quiet roommate, who is hardly ever there, and a big window overlooking a courtyard with a dolphin fountain in the center. I could have been in my room, studying for an exam on Monday, ordering a pepperoni and mushroom pizza, and having reruns of That 70’s Show playing in the background. Thank god I decided to go to this party.

If I stayed in my room all night, I would have missed the opportunity to run into a girl I went to middle school with and who I had a massive crush on. My eyes always seemed to find her around school and loved the feisty comments she’d reply with. I moved to Ojai during my fifth-grade year, which was a tough year to adjust because it was in the middle of elementary school. Everyone already had their best friends and inside jokes. They knew where the bathrooms were and how to get to the cafeteria for assemblies.

I was used to it at that point. My dad was a salesman and was always moving us around wherever he landed a new gig. My dad, Sean Parker, my twin if I was thirty years older, has the same light brown hair and tan skin as I do, except he wears his hair clean and short. He’s my best friend. It’s always been the two of us. My mom passed away giving birth to me, so I never had a mom figure in my life. Just my dad, and he did everything to support and love me as much as two parents could. Even though he transferred jobs often, he tried his best to help me adjust. We were never in the same spot for longer than a few years at a time. To this day, I struggle with the fact that no place feels like home.

It was annoying, but just part of the life of living with a single father trying to pay the bills. He worked hard and always taught me to keep hustling, keep going after my goal, and never stop going after what I truly want. All I wanted as a kid was to find a place to call home and live there for more than three years at a time. It wasn’t until I was about to leave for college that we finally found that place.

In my senior year of high school, we moved to Northern California, and he seemed to finally settle down there. He started dating a woman at the company he worked for, and she moved in with us, Pam Westfield. Pam is a shy woman, no taller than five feet, and makes the best desserts I’ve had in my entire life. She dresses in soft colors and smells like hyacinths. She makes my dad the happiest I’ve ever seen, and I am happy he has her since I left for San Diego.

This past holiday break, I took a quick plane ride up there to see them. Pam started an herb garden in the backyard, and my dad is taking up yoga. It’s the best feeling to see them thrive. My dad mentioned to me that he is ready to pop the question to Pam, and I couldn’t be happier for him. I believe that’s all he truly wanted in life since my mom passed, to find the one and have a home.

San Diego is a dream so far. The sun is bright and warm, which makes people smile more. I give a big grin and wave to people as they pass, even if I have no clue who they are. I was stoked to learn Isaac also got accepted here. Though it had been a while since we went to school together, we were great friends. He was the first kid to talk to me when I moved to Ojai. I was sitting alone at the edge of the playground, and he walked over to say he wanted me to be on his team for kickball. We played every recess that entire year. We’d go to movie premieres together, build ramps for our bikes outside his house, and my dad even took us fishing one weekend. When we started at UCSD, we picked up our friendship like no time passed. It’s the great thing about friendship. You can go years without seeing someone and just naturally drift apart. Then one day, reconnect and pick up where you left off.

That same nostalgic feeling hits me as I play ping-pong with Annika. Seeing this old friend's face brings me so much comfort. Like when you rediscover a blanket you had as a kid or drinking out of your favorite mug. Chipped and faded but no other mug can compare to the familiarity it brings.

She always brought a smile to my face when we were young. She didn’t even have to look at me, just seeing her would make me blush and stare a bit too long at times. I reminisced about the first time I saw her when I moved to Ojai. I was playing kickball with Isaac when the ball rolled off to the jungle gym. I ran over and retrieved the ball and saw her climbing the monkey bars. She flew across like she’d done it a million times. Her short hair braided into two French braids on either side and patchwork overalls gave her the cutest tomboy look. She jumped off as a first grader waved down at her. She gave him a hug and helped tie his shoes. I thought that was so sweet and something you never saw, older kids interacting with the younger ones. I later learned that was her little brother, but I still found the action tugging at my heart.

A week later, I saw her flying across the same monkey bars when a Caleb, a mean kid from my class pushed her off as he jumped on the other side. She flew down to her knees and put her hands on the bark chips. Without thinking, I ran over and helped her up. She stared at me without saying a word, and I got a good look at her dark eyes and the watercolor of freckles that danced along her nose and cheeks. I grabbed her hand and helped her up. She had bark chips in her hair, so I reached over and brushed them out. As I turned to leave, she yelled after me.

“Hey! What’s your name?”