Page 87 of Love and Lies

“Giving yourself an alibi?” I asked, pulling out a stack of hoodies and giving them the once-over.

She laughed sadly. “Yes. Officially I’m spending the night at a friend’s. It’s not really allowed since the Mirage, but they’ll let it go today, I’m sure.”

“If not, we can always say you lost your memory and turning up at my door was a total coincidence.” I gave her a lopsided grin. “Here.” I’d found her a blue sweater—it had shrunk in the dryer, but I’d got it in Europe and was very attached to it, and I gave it to her along with a pair of drawstring sweatpants.

“Thank you.” She sounded relieved, as though I’d just saved her life with those clothes.

“The bathroom’s over there,” I said, pointing to the door; I wasn’t sure she’d ever been here during Adam’s time. “There are towels in the cupboard next to the shower, in case you want to clean up.”

She grinned. “Do I look that bad?”

“No, not at all,” I replied, dead serious. “You’re the prettiest panda I’ve ever seen.”

Helena laughed weakly, then took the clothes into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

I went to the kitchen, got some glasses from the cupboard, and put them on a tray with a bottle of whiskey. Then I had a look in the little pantry next to the fridge to see if I had any snacks, but since Eli’s last visit all that was left was a sad mini-pack of cheese-flavored Combos.

“Okay, where’s this whiskey?” announced Helena as she emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later. I looked up.

She’d taken off her makeup, twisted her hair up into a bun, and was wearing my clothes, which were of course far too big but still looked good on her. The sight of her made my heart leap in the best way. I’d never found anyone more beautiful than in that moment.

“What is it?” she asked. She’d noticed the way I was looking at her, and touched her face as if she’d missed a bit of makeup.

“Nothing.” I smiled and grabbed the tray. “Come on, let’s go up.”

“Up?” Her gaze went to my bed on the mezzanine. Any other day I might have made a crass comment, but this time I just shook my head.

“No, right up top.” I started up the stairs and waited for Helena to follow. Setting the tray down on the bed briefly, I opened a narrow door built inconspicuously into the wall, behind which a wrought-iron staircase spiraled steeply upward. I retrieved the tray and took it up. Seconds later, Helena appeared on the terrace and stopped in her tracks.

“Wow.” She looked around, stunned. “I had no idea this was here.”

“It wasn’t, during Adam’s time.” I put the tray down on the low table in front of the outdoor sofa, reaching behind the back of it for the remote control to turn on the subtle mood lighting. “I mean, the terrace was here, but it was just a bare patch of concrete with a railing. When I moved in, I thought it’d be a shame not to make better use of it.”

A ring of shrubs sitting in pots around the edge of the wooden deck formed a kind of green barrier to the city outside. Helena touched one of them lightly. “Did you do all this yourself?”

“Not everything, no.” I put my hands in my pockets. “I had help from a couple of builders and one of the garden gurus who used to work for my father. But I did the planning.”

“It’s gorgeous.” She took in a deep breath and let it out again. “You could completely forget you were in the middle of New York City. Which must be why you did it, right?”

I gave a shrug as I went over to a storage box next to the wall, handed Helena a blanket to keep her warm, and we sat down on the couch. She unfurled the blanket over her legs, and as her gaze met mine, I knew my roof terrace wouldn’t distract her from the ache in her heart for long. So I poured us both a glass, and handed her one. We clinked glasses lightly.

“To Adam,” she said.

“To Valerie,” I replied.

Helena smiled.

We drank in silence. In the distance, a ship’s horn sounded as it made its way along the Hudson, and down in the street, a dog barked.

“Can I ask you something?” Helena studied me from her corner of the sofa.

“Of course.”

“How did you find out?”

“You mean…?” I swallowed, turning the glass over in my hand.

“Yes.” She nodded, lowering her gaze. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I just wondered. I was thinking about it again this morning. What it was like when they broke the news to me. How the floor went out from under my feet.”