Page 55 of Love and Lies

Henry shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said. “He’ll never get over this if he just runs away from the city. We’re not paying a fortune for an exposure therapist only for him to avoid exposure.”

I sighed. “It’s just about giving him space to breathe, that’s all. I feel like the attacks are happening more frequently. Could it be that you and Trish are putting too much pressure on him?”

Henry’s expression hardened. “So you admit he had an episode earlier? I know my own son, Jess; don’t take me for a fool. He had a panic attack and called you, didn’t he?”

“You’re asking the wrong question. You should be asking yourself why he called me and not you.” My eyes narrowed. “You and Trish, you constantly make him feel like he’s not enough. How is it ever going to get any better when he thinks he’s disappointing you by showing any sign of weakness?”

“I didn’t know our parenting was any of your business,” Henry stonewalled.

“Eli’s my brother,” I said coolly. “So it is my business if I get the impression he isn’t okay.”

“Half brother,” Henry reminded me. “And you have no idea what it’s like to be a father, not knowing when your child is finally going to get over his trauma.”

“That’s true. But I know what it’s like to have people expect things of you constantly.”

Henry snorted. “Are you really comparing yourself with Eli? You were a troublemaker who went to surf instead of school and thought it was an act of rebellion to fuck girls on the roof terrace while we had business dinners downstairs. You never gave a shit what your mother or I wanted.”

“That’s right,” I confirmed. “But Eli does.”

“I do not have unrealistic expectations of him!” Henry yelled furiously. “I just want him to be normal again!”

That was it, I finally snapped, and gave Henry a piece of my mind. “He is normal! He went through some shit, and he’s not okay—that’s the most normal thing in the world! I know Trish can’t get that into her head, but I would have thought you at least were sensible enough to understand that you’re both just making it worse!”

It had been awful for us all—the day we’d gotten the call to tell us that Eli’s car had been found abandoned in an alley, with no trace of him or his driver. And yes, it was a long time ago. But Henry and Trish didn’t see that although their son might have grown into a fifteen-year-old, he was still really just the little boy who’d been kept in a hole somewhere and mistreated for almost two weeks. And that it was going to take more than regular therapy to get him through it—he needed his family’s support. Directly after the kidnapping, Adam and I had tried our best to provide safety for Eli, and we’d done a good job. But now Adam was dead. And I would gladly go up against Trish and Henry every single day, but if they weren’t going to listen to what I had to say then there was no point.

“We are not making it worse—but if that’s what you’re brainwashing Eli to believe, perhaps Trish and I should reconsider whether it’s a good idea for you to continue to see him.” Henry’s tone was ice-cold.

I laughed. “Are you for real? Great idea. Maybe I’ll make a few calls too, and find out how I can prevent you from seeing him as well.”

“Don’t threaten me, Jessiah,” he said in warning. “Or you’ll regret it.”

“Don’t you threaten me, Henry.” I took a step forward. “Trish and I were never particularly close, but when it comes to the art of warfare, you better believe I take after her. So you should know you’d be a damn fool to take me on.”

“You—”

“Are you guys fighting about me?”

We wheeled around and saw Eli standing in the doorway. I said “Yes,” at the same time as Henry said “No,” which just went to show who was honest with Eli and who wasn’t. But I wasn’t going to get any further tonight. I would talk to my mother about the trip to Swan Lake.

“I have to go, I have a meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow, little guy.”

“Yeah, sure.” Eli gave a cautious smile, casting a look at his father, but Henry was smart enough not to argue with me. I said my goodbyes and left. And while I rode the elevator down, I asked myself if there would ever come a day when I wasn’t needed here in New York City.

Or whether I had to make my peace with staying forever.

25 Helena

The sun was shining as I left campus and headed to the car waiting for me on the other side of the street. Raymond saw me coming and got out to open the door.

“We should go directly to the Mirage, Miss Helena,” he said. “Your mother’s expecting you. She’ll be there in half an hour’s time.”

Not just my mother, I added silently in my head. After a whole week of waiting, this hotel opening was my opportunity to finally sound out Carter Fields. He’d been out of town lately, but surely he would show his face at the Mirage.

I hadn’t needed Malia or the NYPD database to gather intel on my target this time. I knew him—or I had known him, before I’d been sent into exile. Carter was the youngest son of the Fields family, who owned the Vanity Hotel where Adam and Valerie had died. Their party suite was his engagement gift to them. That hadn’t seemed like a big deal to me before now, since Carter and Valerie had been friends. They had gotten close before she’d met Adam, but my sister soon realized she didn’t want a romantic relationship with him—which didn’t surprise me, since Carter was the biggest poser of all time. Cars, women, drugs, it was all part of his playboy image. But Valerie had always said he was a really decent guy behind the facade, so I was hoping he would tell me something about that night. And confirm that Valerie and Adam didn’t want drugs at their party, so they hadn’t made use of Pratt’s services.

We drove through the heavy city traffic, and although I was excited about the mission, my thoughts kept drifting to someone other than Carter. I hadn’t seen Jessiah—Jess—since that night at Bella Ciao, but he was on my mind constantly. I’d thought about trying to get his number this whole time, but in the end I never did. Better not to run the risk of losing him again—because that’s what would happen, sooner or later, if we got involved. The things that brought us together would never be a match for everything that kept us apart.

My mother, Lincoln, and Paige were already waiting outside the hotel, so I banished thoughts of Jess to the back of my mind and painted a smile on my face before getting out of the car.