Page 50 of Thrown Off Balance

“We should go talk to the coach and team manager.” Maddox motions down the hall and Mason nods.

“Pauly, I want you to hang out by the door. I don’t trust he won't try to get in here. This is the only entrance he can use to get straight into the player’s area.”

“Got it, Boss.” Pauly turns around and heads back down the long hallway towards the door.

“Are you ok hanging out with Cody for a little bit?” Mason glances down at me.

“As long as he doesn’t mind.”

“Do I mind my beautiful girlfriend following me around? Not at all. C’mon, sweetheart, let me show you where I spend most of my days.” Cody snakes an arm around my waist and leads me through the locker room door.

I expect to find a bunch of guys hanging around and talking in different stages of undress, but I don’t. The locker room is practically empty. There’s one guy on his phone and another sitting at his cubby writing something. They both barely glance in our direction before turning their attention back to what they were doing.

Cody drops his duffle bag at his cubby before taking my hand and leading me into the gym. This room is much livelier. There are at least a dozen men in here and all of them are lifting weights or working on a machine.

I spot Jax in the corner on a treadmill, running like he doesn’t have a care in the world. I don’t know how he does it. How do you stay so focused when your personal life is crumbling?

“He’s good at compartmentalizing,” Cody whispers like he can read my mind. “He can focus on one thing even when his life is falling apart. That’s what makes him so good at hockey. He can leave everything off the ice. As soon as his skate touches the smooth ice, everything else is out of his mind.”

“Man, I wish I had that ability… I feel bad. Everything happening with Jude is all my fault.” Cody opens his mouth to argue, but I hold up a hand to stop him. “I know what you’re going to say and you’re wrong. If I had never reentered your life, Jude wouldn’t think he was friends with Jax. Your life would be so much easier if I had just stayed gone.”

My eyes fill with tears as I think about how much trouble I'm bringing to Cody’s life. If something happens to him or someone in his family, I’ll never forgive myself. Especially if something happens to him or Jax. There’s no way he’d forgive me if Jax was hurt or killed.

Cody’s eyes scan my face. I'm not sure what he’s looking for, but he grabs my hand and leads me out of the gym and into another area. We go into a small room and he shuts the door behind us. There are glass walls all around us and the area is barely big enough for the four chairs in here.

“This is a soundproof room. We typically only use these if we have to talk to our managers or meet with someone outside of the team privately,” Cody explains.

He leans forward so his elbows are resting on his knees and watches me.

“My life would not be easier without you in it, Sloan. Sure, Jude is a pain in the butt and I’d never ask for a stalker to be following me and my brother, but he can’t stalk us forever. Sooner or later, he’s going to do something that is illegal and then we can get him locked away, hopefully he can get the help he needs then.”

“Yeah, but…” I trail off, not wanting to voice the thoughts going through my head.

What if he kills me?

What if he kills you or Jax?

What if he destroys everything you love in life?

“But until then, I'm still happy to have you back in my life. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Sloan. You’re the person I always dreamed of spending forever with. Life has finally given you back to me and if we need to go through this time of difficulty, I’ll do it if it means I have a shot at forever with you again. Do you understand me?”

“What if I don’t want forever with you?” I do want forever with him, but I need to know he’ll let me make the decision. I want this to be a partnership and know he’ll take my feelings into consideration. I won’t deal with another Jude.

“Well, then I’ll just call Jude and hand you over.” The words come out so seriously and his face is free from any emotions, I almost believe he’d really do it. “I’m kidding, sweetheart. I love you. If you really don't want forever with me, I’ll walk away, but not until I know you’re safe.”

He drops his head and is quiet for a few minutes. There’s so much tension in his back and I feel so bad. I just want his life to be easy and carefree again.

“Is that what you want? You want me to walk away forever?” The moisture in Cody’s eyes makes my own eyes flood with tears.

“Never,” I whisper as the first tear slips down my cheek and splashes onto my hand. “I never want you to walk away from me. Maybe it’s selfish, but I want to keep you forever.”

“Good, because I'm not sure I could walk away.”

Cody pulls me out of the chair and onto his lap. He presses a soft kiss to my lips before cradling my head against his chest.

“Everything will be ok. Mason and Maddox are really good at their job. Bennett Bradley Security is the best in the business for a reason.”

Chapter 27