Page 39 of Thrown Off Balance

“That’s dumb.”

“No, hear me out. You guys had this amazing relationship, one I was jealous of. You were perfect together. It’s like you were made for each other… but it’s been years since you’ve seen each other. What if she contacted you and you wanted nothing to do with her? What if she reached out and you were already married with a family? What if when you reconnected, you were nothing like the Cody she left behind? She was scared, man. She’s still scared. If she never reconnected with you, you could remain this perfect first boyfriend in her mind. She could pretend you were this amazing guy who made her past perfect.”

“I can’t stand seeing her in someone else’s arms,” Cody whispers.

“Well, in her defense, I don’t think Jude really ever held her in his arms. The idiot was too worried about trying to impress me.” Jax watches me carefully. “Maybe she thinks she isn’t good enough for you. You’re this professional hockey player now and she might assume you could have any woman you want.” Jax shrugs even though Cody isn’t looking at him.

“But I only want her. I’ve only ever wanted her.”

“Then do something about it.”

“There’s nothing I can do, Jax. She just broke up with her boyfriend, I don’t want to be a rebound. No matter what, I don’t want her to date me because she feels like she should. I only want her if she wants to date me just as much as I want to date her. She has to feel something towards me.”

“And what if she’s been listening to this whole conversation and started crying when I told you she still loves you?”

Cody’s head whips around and his gaze meets mine. I could run away and lock myself in his guest room, but we both know I was listening thanks to Jax… who I'm going to murder in the morning.

“What if she’s just too scared to make a move, when everyone knows she wants to? What if she doesn’t know how to fix things between you?” I say softly.

“Then all she’d have to do is tell me she wanted to try. I’d handle everything else,” Cody whispers, never taking his eyes off of me.

“Sloan? Do you want to try?” Jax rolls his eyes as he prompts me.

I nod my head as the tears fall faster. I'm sure he feels like he’s holding both of our hands through this, but I don’t care. He’s right, I'm scared to make a move and I don’t know how to fix everything.

Cody’s off the couch and closing the distance between us as soon as I nod. He tugs me into his arms and buries his face in the crook of my neck. He doesn’t say anything, but he holds onto me tightly and I can feel the tension release from his body.

“Well, I'm heading to bed now that I fixed all of your problems. You can thank me in the morning with a delicious breakfast and homemade cookies,” Jax calls as he heads down the hallway in the opposite direction of us.

As soon as he’s gone, I pull back and meet Cody’s gaze. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I don’t know what to say now. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now that everything is out on the table.

“Don’t say anything, sweetheart. I want you to get some sleep and we can talk in the morning,” Cody whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. He lets his fingers trail over my jaw and down my neck.

“Why?”

“Because I want you to be sure this is what you want. Even if it takes a few days or weeks for you to decide. I'm not going anywhere.” He places a gentle kiss on my forehead before intertwining our fingers and leading me to the spare bedroom.

He hugs me again, this time a little bit longer. When he pulls away, he stares at me for several long seconds before he tells me goodnight and shuts the door behind him when he leaves.

I climb into bed, but I know sleep won't come easily tonight. I’m going to be up for hours thinking about Cody and what the right move is for us. When I finally fall asleep, I dream of what an amazing life we could have together.

Chapter 21

Cody

“So… Did you kiss her?” Jax smirks from his spot leaning against the counter.

“No. What is wrong with you?” I roll my eyes.

“What? You’ve dated in the past. I don’t see what the big deal is.” He frowns at me.

“Because it’s been years, Jax! I'm not pushing her.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to rush this and then have Sloan decide she doesn’t want a relationship with me. I'm trying to be patient.” I stare up at the ceiling and squeeze my eyes shut. It’s bad enough that I want to move things along, I don’t need Jax pushing me too. It just frustrates me.

“Morning, boys.” Sloan smiles as she enters the kitchen. She looks adorable in my t-shirt and pajama pants. I was so stuck in my head last night, I wasn’t really able to appreciate her in my clothing.