Page 77 of The Callahan Effect

"I know the feeling."

Corey leaned forward, resting his forearms across his knees.

"I've been angry."

"I know."

"But not for the reason you probably think."

I waited.

"When you told me about you and Jack..." He shook his head slowly. "I wasn't angry because you're gay."

The knot I'd carried in my chest loosened just a little.

"I was angry because we'd spent so much of our lives together, and somehow you were carrying something that big all by yourself."

His voice caught unexpectedly.

"I kept thinking about every conversation we'd ever had. Every road trip. Every practice. Every time somebody joked about you finally getting a girlfriend." He looked down at the floor before meeting my eyes again. "I laughed right along with everyone else, and all that time my best friend was trying to figure out who he really was."

"I didn't know how to tell anyone."

"I know that now."

"I barely knew how to tell myself."

"I know that too."

Emotion tightened my throat.

"I never kept it from you because I didn't trust you."

"I figured that out on the way here when I finally pulled my head out of my ass."

"I kept hoping I'd wake up one morning and everything would be...different."

Corey gave a sad smile.

"So did I."

I frowned.

"What?"

"I kept hoping you'd meet some amazing girl because I thought that's what would make you happy." He let out a weary breath and leaned back in the chair, studying me for a long moment before speaking again.

"When Jack called and told me you'd been hurt..." He swallowed hard. "Nothing else mattered. I thought I'd lost you."

"You didn't."

"I know." His eyes glistened. "But sitting on that plane all night..." His voice cracked before he managed to continue. "Do you know what I kept thinking?"

I slowly shook my head.

"I kept thinking the last conversation we'd ever had ended with me hanging up on you and refusing to answer the texts and calls that followed. I've hated myself for that."

"You shouldn’t have."