Page 36 of Learning to Trust

I'd been fucked into oblivion and lay boneless in Andrew's arms. I knew it was late and time I left, but I didn't have the inclination or the motivation to drag myself from the bed.

Andrew’s chest rose and fell gently beneath my head. I didn’t have the heart to disturb him, and I snuggled closer, convincing myself that leaving at two, or three in the morning wasn’t really breaking Andrew’s rule against spending the night. Was it? My head hurt trying to figure out what was happening between us, so I closed my eyes and welcomed sleep.

***

I rolled over and my hand slapped the vacant cold of the sheets. Andrew had obviously been gone for a while. I had no idea what the time was since my cell was downstairs and there was no clock in the playroom. I supposed there was no need for one.

Dragging my tired ass from the bed, I padded to the bathroom to take care of business before pulling on the jeans and polo shirt I’d worn the previous day.

Downstairs, I checked the kitchen and living room, but finding no sign of Andrew, I quietly slipped through the side door off the kitchen and headed home. I would apologize to Andrew the following morning, or was it today, for breaking his rule and staying over?

Chapter Twelve

ANDREW

I paced the deck, dragging both hands over my scalp. It was four in the morning, my first job was at eight and I was a fucking mess. Less than two weeks! Less than two fucking weeks and David had me tied in knots.

What was I doing? I never invited people I didn't know well down to the basement. I'd fallen asleep with David wrapped in my arms, something I had never done before, and I had neglected to explain what I expected from him at the club—something else that hadn't happened previously. I not only wasn't thinking straight, I was acting totally out of character. My neighbor was under my skin. I was unraveling and clueless about how to get back on track.

Dropping into a chair, I gazed up at the sky. The dark of night was fading along with the myriad of stars as dawn got ready to break.

The morning air was cold on my bare chest and goosebumps pebbled my skin, but I had no intention of moving anytime soon.

The sound of the side door from the kitchen penetrated the early morning quiet and the automatic sensor lights flashed on, triggered by David’s leaving.

I probably should have gone to him, he'd be feeling guilty about breaking our major rule. But it wasn't his fault. That was the kind of man David was—He cared and was sensitive to how he made everyone around him feel. As his Dom, I should have made sure he dressed, left the playroom, and made his way home. Instead, I'd fallen asleep, loving the feel of him in my arms. Tonight I would make a point of seeing him and explaining it wasn't his fault.

As the sky transformed into a cacophony of shades of orange, pink, and purple, I thought about how one quiet, unassuming man with confidence and trust issues was changing my life. It was strange that I didn't seem to mind.

***

The week had passed in a blur, everyone at the business had been working long hours, mainly on contracts we’d won to install locks on new builds. Before I could blink, Saturday had once again arrived, and two weeks had passed since meeting the man who never seemed to be far from my thoughts.

I hadn't seen David since calling over to talk about his staying the night and reassuring him it was my fault and that although it was no big deal, it wasn't to happen again. We hadn't yet arranged our next get-together.

Today was punishment day and I more than likely wouldn't be in the mood to see anyone for a few days. I'd already explained to David, although I would be grateful for his care, it would most likely be the following weekend before we hooked up again sexually. I'd scheduled the following week off work. There was no way I wanted those I employed asking me questions if I moved stiffly or was carrying visible bruises.

Nerves assailed me as I fussed in the kitchen getting coffee ready. I’d been punished by Kyle before, but it had been years earlier when I was still learning the ropes on my journey to becoming a Dom. I’d also been a witness to Kyle’s technique when he punished other Doms as he'd been in the BDSM scene for two years longer than me and the guys. Kyle was accomplished, experienced, and harsh, which was the reason I was prepared to be laid up for the week.

A knock sounded and I glanced at the clock on the wall to see it was 9 am. The guys were on time. The four of them stomped through to the kitchen and helped themselves to coffee before dropping into chairs at the table. I passed on the brew as my stomach was already churning with foreboding and a little excitement. I couldn't say I hated being paddled or flogged, it just hadn't happened very often and had never been administered by one of my friends after the first time with Kyle.

Kyle slapped his hands on the table. “I was thinking of a flogging on the cross at the club—”

I felt the blood drain from my face, how could Kyle consider such a thing? I was prepared to take whatever punishment he deemed fit but how could he suggest the club’s public area when he knew of my past?

Kyle had been present when, at the age of twenty-seven, I'd been humiliated a few weeks after we had all joined our first club—Club Knight. I had been trying to find my identity in the lifestyle that was new and different to me and was eager to experience a flogging on the cross. An older, experienced Dom had agreed to scene. I'd been buckled to the cross with my face to the leather. The only rock-hard limit I'd set was that he didn't touch my asshole.

The Dom—Yanic, ignored my limit and rammed two thick fingers deep inside. Sheer terror had enveloped me and the memory of the encounter with Maxim had me panicking. My body shook uncontrollably, and both my bowels and bladder released in front of the crowd. Yanic had walked away in disgust, leaving me buckled to the cross, almost catatonic, and feeling humiliated and helpless.

"Kyle, Cody, Simon, and Leon, had set me free, bathed me, and taken me home. I remembered none of what they had done.

Over the following week, they'd taken turns watching over me as I slept. I didn't eat, barely drank, and not a word passed my lips. When I showed no improvement in the second week, the guys had been terrified that I was slipping away. They had every reason to be terrified because I was slowly slipping away.

It had been Cody who had gone to Aunt Heather and brought her to me in the hopes she could help. I told her about both Maxim and Yanic—the whole gory story. Heather held me while I cried and had taken me back to her place where she cared for me for the next month while I recovered. She had wanted me to see a therapist, but I'd refused, preferring to work through my problems alone.

When ready, I returned to work and never stepped foot in Club Knight again since the management had refused to discipline Yanic for his breach of my request. I don’t know why they overlooked such a serious incident and wasn’t interested in pursuing the matter. It was better for my mental health to walk away and put the incident in the past where it belonged.

One of Simon’s friends from grade school had clued him in to Twenty-Six when Simon had mentioned he was looking for a club. The friend—Bennett, had invited us all to join. Despite being wary of joining another club, I tagged along with the guys to check it out.