Page 25 of Ruby’s Outback Love

I dabbed at my eyes with a damp face washer to cool the heat and settle the rising redness before heading out to meet Linda.

***

Linda was seated at a table just inside the door of the café and was chatting with the owner, Moira, when I entered. I greeted them both before taking a seat.

I ordered a flat white coffee and vanilla yoghurt while Linda ordered a skinny latte, muesli and Greek yoghurt.

Once Moira had our order and left the table, Linda pounced.

“Okay, now we’re finally alone – spill! What has Phil done to make you so angry with him? He seemed like a nice man when I spoke with him.”

I sighed loudly. “Leave it be, Linda, there is no getting around what happened.”

Linda placed her hand over mine and I gazed into her eyes.

“I’m your friend, Ruby. Please, talk to me. I can see it’s eating you up inside and you’re losing weight way too fast.”

Tears burned my eyes. Linda was right, the past was eating me up and I needed to confide in her. She was a good friend.

“I have loved Phil for most of my life, but he never saw me as anything more than a friend. He was involved with a girl his own age when we were at school – he was two years ahead of me, so there was never any hope for us. When I was graduating year 12, he came home from Brisbane.”

I paused and wiped at the tears on my cheek.

“He said he’d always had feelings for me, insisted he was in love with me and now I was an adult, he wanted to see where things would go. We went out for dinner and ended up at the motel making love. Our future seemed to be set. The man of my dreams cared about me. I was the happiest I’d ever been.”

“So, what happened?” Linda spoke quietly, mindful of how hard it was for me to tell her about the past.

“A couple of months after Phil returned to Brisbane, he became engaged to Francine, the girl he’d dated at school. I found out from one of his friends at the police station when I called to let Phil know I was going to visit. She was pregnant with his baby. They must have been together before he came down to Bourke to see me, it wasn’t really over despite what he’d said. I guess they’re married now with a couple of kids. Phil loved kids……” my words drifted off when Linda shook her head.

“Phil isn’t married. I know he loves kids, he helps out at the PCYC a couple of nights a week, but he doesn’t have any of his own. He told Drew, a woman he was with many years ago was pregnant but miscarried. I guess he didn’t go through with the marriage.”

The shock caused my eyes to widen. Why hadn’t he told me?

Do you really think it would have made a difference to you? Probably not. Maybe. Fuck, I don’t know.

Would I have taken him back if he’d told me? I had no fucking idea how I would have reacted IF I had taken his call, which I probably wouldn’t have. He’d still betrayed me by sleeping with Francine after he’d told me they were done.

“You didn’t know?” Linda raised her eyebrows in query.

I shook my head but remained quiet as our breakfast was set before us and waited until the waitress stepped away.

“As far as I knew, they were getting married. No one here had heard a word from any of them so we didn’t know any different. I wonder why they didn’t go through with it. I mean, if they loved each other, they could have married and tried for another baby. Maybe they’re divorced?”

“No divorce. Phil told Drew that after the miscarriage, they decided it was best if they parted because they didn’t really love each other. Apparently, she’s married with a couple of kids and Phil hasn’t heard from her in years.”

I sipped at my coffee and watched as Linda added the yoghurt to the bowl of muesli before placing a spoonful into her mouth. I dropped my eyes and spooned up a mouthful of my yoghurt. When I lifted my gaze back to Linda, I found she was studying me.

“Will you speak with him; he told Drew he only wants a chance to explain?”

“I don’t think so, it’s too late. As I said, he betrayed me. He told me he was done with Francine and not three months later, they were engaged. I was hurt too badly and there’s no going back.”

“Can you at least try to be civil to the man? He’s hurting, Ruby, I see it in his eyes every time he looks your way. Sooner or later you’re going to have to face the past or neither of you will ever move forward.”

“I’m supposed to feel sorry for him?”

“No, but…..”

“Look, I’ll do my best to keep my anger in check and won’t attack him again. That’s all I can promise.”