Page 147 of Take Me Away

‘I’m going to try.’

She considers this, then nods. ‘Okay. But don’t make her cry. She looks like she’s already been crying a lot.’

She disappears down the hallway, Mr Snuggles tucked under her arm. The moment she’s gone, I turn back to Isla. ‘Talk.’

‘Kit—’

‘No. No more “Kit” and then silence. No more running. You promised me you were staying and then you fucking left without even waking me up. So talk.’

Her jaw tightens. ‘What do you want me to say?’

‘The truth. All of it. Every single thing you’ve been hiding from me for ten years.’

‘You saw the photos.’ Her voice breaks on the last word. ‘You know⁠—’

‘I can tell you what I think I know if that helps you?’ I try and read her face, but it’s so pale and drawn, so tight around the edges that it’s almost blank of all expression. I drag in a deep breath that hurts my throat like it’s the last gasp of clean air I might ever taste. ‘I think he’s a bastard who should be in prison. I think those photos were taken without your consent.’ I take another step closer. ‘I think you’ve been carrying this alone.’ I reach for a strand of her hair and tuck it behind her ear. ‘But what I don’t know is why you didn’t tell me. Why you thought running was better than trusting me with it.’

‘Because I was ashamed!’ The words burst out of her. Blooms of pink spread across her pale cheeks. ‘Because everyone I love has now seen me – seen what he—’ She presses her hands to her face. ‘Do you have any idea what it’s like? To know that people are going to look at those photos and think that I’m some sort of slut, that I just love to lie there, like that, and have someone take pictures of me. Because that’s what all actresses want, right? They’ll just sell whatever it takes to make it?’

‘Do you have any idea what it’s like,’ I cut in, voice hard, ‘to wake up and find the woman I love gone? To realise she’d rather run to London alone than trust me enough to face it together?’

‘I was protecting you!’

‘From what?’

‘From having to deal with my mess! From having to explain to Maisie why her father is with someone the entire internet thinks is a liar! From⁠—’

‘From seeing you as anything other than perfect?’ I’m shouting now. Can’t help it. Can’t keep the rage bottled up anymore. ‘Christ, Isla, I don’t need you to be perfect. I need you to be honest. I need you to trust that I’m strong enough to handle the truth.’

‘The truth is ugly.’

‘I don’t care.’

‘The truth is that I was stupid and naive and I let him⁠—’

‘You didn’t let him do anything.’ I close the last shred of distance between us, grab her shoulders. Not hard. Just enough to make her look at me. ‘Whatever he did, it wasn’t your fault. So tell me. Tell me what happened.’

Her eyes are bright with tears. Angry tears. Terrified tears.

‘He drugged me, at least that’s what I realised the next day,’ she whispers. ‘It was a party to celebrate the wrap of filming. I had two glasses of wine, I didn’t want to drink, I was exhausted and then – then everything went fuzzy. Wrong. I couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t stand up properly. He said he’d take me home and that he’d make sure I was safe.’

My hands tighten on her shoulders.

‘I woke up the next morning in his bed. I couldn’t remember anything, Kit. Just – fragments. The feel of sheets. Hands on me. But it was all underwater, you know? Like I was watching it happen to someone else.’

‘Isla—’

‘He showed me the photos.’ Her voice is hollow now. Flat. ‘That morning. On his phone. Dozens of them. Said I’d been “very enthusiastic” the night before. That I’d wanted it. That if I ever tried to leave him or speak against him, he’d make sure everyone knew what kind of girl I really was.’

Fury, white-hot and blinding, surges through me.

‘And you believed him?’

‘I was nineteen years old!’ The words come out sharp. Defensive. ‘I was alone in London with no one to call, no one to tell. And he was – he was Marcus Vale. Director. Producer. The man who could make or break my career. So yes, I believed him when he said no one would take my word over his.’

‘Why didn’t you come home?’

‘Because I couldn’t face you!’ She’s crying now, properly crying, tears streaming down her face, the tip of her nose turning pink. ‘Because you’d told me to chase my dreams and I’d done it and this is what I got. Maggie had been so proud of me. I couldn’t come back to Sea Salt Bay and look any of you in the eye and tell you that the bright future you believed in turned into – into that.’